Most of parenthood is done on the fly. And sometimes along the way you have a moment of brilliance, a moment when you say to yourself, "I am a fabulous mother, and my children are lucky to have me." Granted, this doesn't happen often, so when it happens I try to savor it. Here is how it played out:
My first born got a hankering for this bike seat cover I brought home from Sports Authority - they were on clearance, and there was only one left. He had to have it! He was also totally broke. I told him I'd buy it, and he'd have two choices. He could buy it from me when he'd saved up enough money, or we could set up a mortgage and he could have it now but pay an additional 10%. E chose a mortgage - complete with payment structure and late payment fees. Also, if he misses two payments in a row I can (and will) foreclose on him.
As a six year old, E's employment opportunities are somewhat limited. Basically, he's got to fill 5 gallon buckets with landscaping rock from our backyard, each bucket is worth 50 cents. E's payments are 50 cents a day. You get the picture .
Today there was a serious infraction; the consequence of this infraction is that our eldest will have to spend tomorrow inside - all day. At the time I gave the consequence I didn't realize the impact that would make on E's ability to make his mortgage payment. But hey - in the real world consequences compound: you get a DUI, you lose your licence, you've got to ride the bus to work etc etc. You get grounded, you can't fill a five gallon bucket with rocks, you miss your mortgage payment, you incur steep late fees.
When E got news of this it was about 40 minutes to sundown. He had just enough time to fill 2 buckets with rocks and make enough money for today and tomorrow. He did it. It was traumatic. He won't soon forget. I think he learned something about procrastinating, consequences, and personal finances.
But what's better is that E knew he'd made a contract, and he knew the consequences he'd gotten were fair. He was sad, but he wasn't angry at me. In fact E and M stayed up late with me and made cookie bars and read stories. We snuggled on the couch. I love it when I can discipline my kids and also capture their hearts. All the yelling and screaming in the world can't teach as well as natural consequences. And really if I don't have my kids love and respect I'll never be able to influence their character. Ahh...if only I were this parenting savvy all the time.
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