The Race

I learned this verse as a child:

"I press on toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus" Phillipians 3:14 (and of course that's in the King James Version - we were good Baptists)

Here is another:

1 Corinthians 9:24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.

And one more:

Hebrews 6:1 Therefore leaving the elementary teaching about the Christ, let us press on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, (NASB ©1995)
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A week ago or so Hubby asked me, "What has God been teaching you?"

At the time I didn't have a good answer. There were some fuzzy thoughts floating around in my brain that I couldn't put into words (unusual for me). It had something to do with getting off my lazy butt and doing something. I didn't know what that meant, only that it wasn't good.

Now I've got a word for it: complacency. I had become complacent. Life had settled into a pattern. I'd gotten comfortable. Some of the disciplines I'd developed had been neglected, and things were getting a little sloppy. I used to drink 8 glasses of water a day, and excercise 4 times a week. I used to spend some time reading the Bible most days. I used to make it a priority to spend some time hanging out with my kids and reading to them daily. One by one these things had fallen by the wayside. Hey, one more cookie, sure why not? And the cumulative effect was a sloppy, undisciplined life. I had lost sight of the goal, and had begun living for today.

So what is God teaching me?

PRESS ON. This is a race. There is a prize. Not everyone wins.

I have been called to maturity; I need to put away my childish self focus. I need grow-up, again.

So far here is a list of my disciplines of the faith:

-JUMP
-RUN

Maybe tomorrow will be skip.

Juuummmp!

When I was in college I went snow shoeing at Bear Lake in Rocky Mountain National Park. One the people in our group found a ledge/cliff about 25 feet high where underneath was a substantial snow drift. People were launching themselves off the cliff onto the drift. My first thought: They're nuts! But after watching for a few times I thought that it looked fun. So I worked up my nerve and climbed up to the top of the cliff.

Yes, I've heard the old adage moms everywhere employ, you know the one, "If you saw s0-and-so jump off a cliff would you jump too?" Well, this time I said, for better or worse, "I'll jump." So snowshoes shuffled to the edge of the cliff, I peeked over the edge. 25 feet had stretched into 250 feet it seemed. I was HIGH. This was stupid. But I was committed. So heart pounding and adrenaline racing I jumped.

No roller coaster anywhere has anything on cliff jumping with snowshoes in the National Park. It was exhilarating, and I even have the photo to prove it. It's so cool. Picture me mid-air, half way down the cliff and back lit with Colorado sunshine.

So after all this build up I'm sure your expecting me to tell you that I ended up breaking my leg, and my mom was right. I should never follow someone off a cliff because it looks like fun. But no. I landed just fine, in a fluffy pile of snow. Sort of anti-climactic, I know.

But this post is about jumping. And discipleship. And disciplines of the faith.

Dave (our pastor) has been doing a series in Proverbs called "Making Life Work" and last night he focused on the verse, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path."

Trust is like jumping. You can't leap off a cliff one foot at a time. It's pointless to try to wave your hand over the edge and see if it's safe.

Ya gotta jump.

Metaphorically speaking trust is like cliff jumping and I think cliff jumping is a little know discipline of the faith. If you want know God you've gotta trust him. You've gotta jump. If you want to grow up and mature you've gotta go where the cliffs are. Oh, sure you could stay in spiritual suburbia. But that's not where the adventure is. The adventure requires everything; it requires a leap of faith.

For us, choosing to adopt (especially foster-to-adopt) has been cliff jumping. It wasn't safe, and perhaps seemed foolish. We had to trust God to protect our hearts and our family as we chose to love a child we could have lost.

The adoption journey is coming to an end for us. July 9th baby will be ours forever. Looking back there were moments of terror. There were times where I tried to just stick my toe over the edge, not ready to leap. But after all was said and done, hearts pounding, adrenaline racing we did leap. And that has been one of the most precious gifts of our lives.

Now I wonder what other cliffs are ahead. Where will we find that we need to jump, trusting our God is good and he cares. What does the future hold? Because I'm not ready to head back to the suburbs just yet.

4 year old boy for lease....

After dinner I had to throw the baby in the bath. She mashed a handful of Jasmine rice into her hair.

Bub asked if he could take a bath too. I, very meanly, said "no". I turned my back for a half a second and this is what I found. According to Bub, his very burly six year old sister launched him into the water, clothes and all, and Bub being so shocked by the ordeal had no time to protest. Mmhmm...wanna a buy some real estate in Southern FL?

On a happier note, a much happier note. We have an adoption hearing set for July 9th. I opened the letter today and almost turned a cartwheel in delight. Almost. It would have been ugly seeing as my cartwheel days were gone several decades ago. Anyhoo...we are thrilled.

Zachary

I have a new friend from my homeschool group. Her name is Erin. When I met Erin she had 2 children, and had just found out that she was pregnant with her 3rd. A surprise.

When Erin was 10 weeks pregant she and her husband discovered that their baby had a fatal condition and would not survive outside the womb. They were encouraged to abort their baby, and faced a lot of harrassment from the liberal doctors in Boulder who thought she was nuts to carry this baby to term.

That baby was a little boy. His name is Zachary. He is in heaven today.

Last week, after a radiant preganancy Erin delivered her baby boy. Zachary David lived for 13 hours, before his mama had to let him go. She held him with open hands and loved him for the moments she had. And he was a gift, a treasure. Erin said Zachary was so worth it. So precious. The doctors were wrong; that little baby's life had meaning. He mattered.

Our friend, Bill, is a photographer, and he captured Zachary's little life in some amazing photos.

You must see this slide show:

http://isaiah6520.blogspot.com/

Discipleship...

So there is an organization out there called the Christian Home Educators of Colorado (CHEC) and they put on an annual conference on homeschooling. They bring in speakers and vendors - the works. This year they got into a little bit of a dispute with my all time favorite curriculum vendor, Sonlight, and wouldn't allow them to buy a booth at the convention. The reason - well I'm hypothisizing here, but I'm 99% sure I'm correct: Sonlight doesn't take a hard stance on New Earth Creation. They present material and let parents and children work it out for themselves. Also, some of their literature isn't "Christian"; the characters in their books do bad things. Don't get me wrong the literature is uplifting and inspiring, just not Christian.



Because I thought CHEC was being stupid I decided to silently, stubborly and probably stupidly boycott the whole deal. (I'm sure the fact that I chose not to attend, silently, significantly impacted the thinking of this large organization. Effective, very effective.)



But my friend Karen went to the CHEC conference. And she recommended one of the speakers: Dr. Voddie Baucham. I still haven't bought his book on Amazon, but I've listened to several of his youtubes, and iterviews. I think I get the jist.



Dr. Baucham spoke at the conference about Education and Family as Discipleship. He says that the family is the primary construct within the church in which discipleship happens. Remember, a disciple is a Christ-follower. Discipleship is then the process by which one Christ-follower helps another learn and grow in their walk with Jesus. So this is supposed to happen in family.

Okay, I'll buy. Discipleship should happen in families, and it doesn't happen accidentally. Hubby and I have to be deliberate and intentional. I even believe that we are accountable before God for how we represent Him to our kids. Yikes!

So a couple times in the stuff I listened to I heard Dr. Baucham say (speaking of public schools) "If you send your kids to Ceasar for an education, don't be surprised if they come back as Romans".

Whoa Nellie!

Yes, it is family is the construct best suited for passing on faith. Yes, it is the responsibility of Christian parents to model Christ and teach their children to know and walk with God. Yes, public schools are influenced by secular humanism. But the parents I know with kids in public schools haven't checked out of their kids' lives. They are there: in the classrooms, after school, at the ball games. They tuck their kids in and pray with them. Discipleship is happening.

Okay, never mind this post. I'm abandoning it. I just got an email from a friend in my homeschool group, and my whole blog seems trite in compairison.

I've been painting lately, which I don't do much, becuase I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I'm also messy. And painting takes a long time - especially with 4 kids.

I've been doing still lifes because, mostly, they stay still. And our backyard doesn't really lend itself to landscapes. The trouble I've encountered is that my children are eating my model. M and Bub got busted the other night with their mouths full of grapes, and Baby found a ripe plum to her liking.

Gonna get me some new wheels

We're not homeschooling right now, and I have a little more time on my hands. So I blog. Because I think its fun. And I get to be opinionated, when so much of the time I bite my tongue. What I've noticed as I've read over the last month's blogs is that I'm a pretty irritating kook.

-Homebirth
-Homeschool
-Libertarians
-Importance of family and marriage
-Modesty
-Consumer Debt

This is just a partial list of the topics I've covered in the last month.

For the record: I also shop at Vitamin Cottage and grow my own vegetables.

Seriously, who is this girl?

Next thing you know I'll be raising chickens and mandating that my girls wear denim jumpers with applique farm animals. My boys will part their hair on the side and slick it down. My husband will wear goofy ties and pull his pants up too high. I, then, would have to wear bobby socks with Keds and broomstick skirts. It would only be right.

I got to see an old college friend this week (okay not old - very, very young - younger than me:))
I adore her. She is a free spirit (she drove a VW bus in college if that helps you understand).

Now Sam is married and has three small children. She lives up in the mountains of Boulder. Sam said her reaction to this time of life has been these ludicrous fantasies of freedom. For instance, she wants to trade in her mom-mobile for a motorcycle with a side car. Because that should be safe for an infant and 2 toddlers. Right?

I want to move to Tanzania at least 40% of the time. That sound exotic. And if Tanzania fell through I could always try out Mozambique, or perhaps Zimbabwe. My criteria for determining where I would like to move is in the name. Its gotta dance on my tongue. Denver doesn't dance; it lumbers and trods. Latvia - now that dances.

So here I am, an apparent political and theological conservative who, of all things, homeschools her 4 children. And to add insult to injury I live in a very ordinary off-white house among many other ordinary off white houses. This is so at odds with the artistic, adventurous girl I imagine myself to be. How could this be so?

I'm with Sam. I need a motorcycle.

Discipleship

While on Earth, Jesus spent the majority of his time in ministry hanging with 12 guys - The Disciples. Yes, he taught, and performed miracles, and had conversations, but mostly he hung with these 12 guys.

Weird Story: So, Jesus sees these blue collar fisherman. He goes over to them and says, "Hey, come follow me. I will make you fishers of men." And, togas still smelling fishy, these blue collar hicks drop thier nets and follow. That's it.

Some 3 years later, these fishermen have been transformed. The have become "the disciples". They are the leaders of their faith. They proclaim Jesus as the Messiah and people begin to follow the teachings of the Rabbai known as, Jesus of Nazareth. The world is transformed. Christianity is born. And part of the story, an important part, starts with some working class guys who drop thier nets and follow.

One of the last things that Jesus says while on earth is captured in a passage of the Bible in the book of Matthew (28:16-20). This passage is historically called "The Great Commission". These words are Jesus' last instructions to the disciples. They are, not accidentally, about discipleship.

The Great Commission says:

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Discipleship is a really churchy word. And I have a sort of vague understanding of what it means. But as I look at this passage I see some specific instructions that I'm hoping will demystify this for me.

-Go
-Make disciples
-Baptizing them
-Teaching them to obey

First, I'm noticing a lot of verbs here. Discipleship is active. It's not some kind of passive deal; it requires intentionality. It's a "drop your nets and follow" thing. In fact, following, actively following, seems to be foundational to this concept of discipleship.

Next there's this issue of baptizing. Also churchy. But the point of baptism is to identify yourself with another. Its a visual picture that says: "I am crucified with Christ, therefore I no longer live but Jesus Christ now lives in me." A person who chooses baptism says, "I'm not who I was before; now I know Jesus and I choose to live for Him." Baptism isn't for pansies.

The last part of what Jesus told the disciples to do is to teach new followers to obey. Obedience: Bending ones own will to that of another. Sounds fun. Hmm... this "Great Commision" is not much of sales pitch is it?

Here's my working definition:

A disciple is one who deliberately choses to identify herself with Christ and surrenders her own will in obedience to Jesus.

So what does that mean in real life? How does that look in my corner of suburbia? And how do I, a disciple of Christ, go and make disciples? Is discipleship a part of parenting? friendships? church? Who do I know that is a discipler? Why would I want to be a disciple in the first place?

I'm thinking through this issue of Discipleship. I'm taking you along in my journey. Stay tuned; surrender, sanctification and disciplines of the faith are coming soon to a blog near you.

WoW!

Have you ever met someone who seems to be wearing a "kick-me" sign on their back, but they can't figure out why they keep getting kicked in their proverbial butt? This guy needs a "kick-me" sign. It would complete his decent into lunacy. Or perhaps I am being judgemental...

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/blog/california-dreaming-worlds-largest-jesus/

John Gatto

I am a self described geek. Please recognize this before reading further, and if you must, skip this post and try again another day.

I've been reading articles and watching You Tube videos by John Gatto. He's the ex-teacher that thinks compulsory schools should be eliminated. The guy is fascinating to me and I find his take on history compelling. BUT I don't agree with everthing he has to say. Here is my analysis and editorial.

Remember I am a geek. I do this becuase it amuses me. So skip it if you must.

Gatto is a Libertarian. He makes John McCain look like a member of the Green Party. His political views are extreme and I think that's important to remember when we listen to his interpretation of history. I think it is wise to be cautious of anything that leans too far to the right or the left.

Here is where I agree. Gatto proposes that the modern rendition of public schools began at the turn of the last century. It was heavily influenced by 2 things:

1-The Prussian model of social engineering based on getting kids into school young and training them to conform to state held beliefs. (think Marxism and and the SS - Kindergarten means growning children in a garden and implies "pruning" by the state)

2-The Industrial Revolution and the advent of the assembly line. Mass production at minimal cost.

Both of these suppositions are well documented in history. While Gatto draws some radical conclusions his understanding of history is pretty good.

The assumptions at work within this public school model are telling:

First, to believe that we can clump kids together by age and bump them from class to class at the ringing of a bell implies that kids are basically all the same. They learn at roughly the same rate using the same methods.

This may be true in a very general sense, but there are many kids who don't fall within this "normal pattern for learning". Any child who falls outside of the model of a typical child (whether gifted or challenged) will struggle to some degree with the system.

Secondly, assembly lines produce the same results. Turn the cog, push the button, lift the part and Ta-Da you've got a prefect replica of the thing produced two seconds earlier on the same assembly line. Public schools produce (generally speaking) Ford Taurus educations. They are functional and economical, but they are not Lexus educations, or Honda Hybrids, even. They lack power. They aren't particularly robust. There is little space for beauty or innovation. You get what you get, because your child is on the assembly line. Public schools may produce good workers, but they do not necessarily produce good euntrepeneurs, and innovators.

(Please hear what I am not saying. I am not saying that public schools produce Taurus quality kids. When parents are still actively parenting their kids they can do much with a run of the mill eduation. They can still recognize the unique gifts and talents of their own children and coach their children to excellence. But schools aren't equipt to do this )

In the throws of modernity it was important for the prosperity of the country that schools produce good, compliant workers - workers trained in following instructions and filling in the blanks. And aside from the fact that this philosophy sees kids as future "human resources" to be managed and manipulated, there is another problem.

The Industrial Revolution has passed.

We live in a post-modern information age. Our "Human Resources" need to be innovative, and quick problem solvers. They need to know how to collaborate and explore the boundaries. Traditionally, public schools are not equipt to teach these skills.

Change is on the horizon though.

Parents have more options than ever before. Charter schools are administrated by a parental board of directors. This puts the power in the hands of the people raising kids. They get to influence the values and culture of a school - they get to determine (at least to a degree) what their children will learn.

There are public virtual schools popping up all over. These schools provide parents the tools and curriculum they need to teach their kids while still allowing parents to raise their kids in an environment of their own making. Kids can learn without being stratisfied by age.

(When you think about it schools devided by age are really a bizzare construct within culture. No where else in society do we put 20 people of the same age together to perform the same tasks. We benefit from being surronded by people who are older and younger than us. We grow and stretch as we learn to collaborate with people who are different. )

Also, there are OPTIONS programs like my kids are in that allow my kids the opportunity to make friends and participate in classes that are difficult to teach to 1 or 2 kids at home - like say, PE or orchestra. But in limiting classes to one day a week this,again, puts the bulk of the responsibility on parents for directing their child's education.

Then there are schools like the ones that Bill and Melinda Gates are establishing that encourage innovation, responsibility and excellence.

Okay, I'm starting to bore myself. But my point is that just because public schools were built on some faulty premises doesn't mean that we need to throw the baby out with the bath water. All ready people on the cutting edge are competing to create options for parents who are looking to partner with schools to equip their kids. It's when we begin to see school as a surogate parent that things get ugly. Children need to be parented- not necessarily schooled. Training, discipline and eduation is the responsiblity of the parent and when the state begins to usurp that role through schools there is a problem. Yes, the state can, and should provide tools, but parents must drive the education of their children. Or else we end up with a Nazi Germany on our hands...

On Homeschooling

Here is a picture of my Boys conquering the world. Legos, dinosaurs and an imagination is all they needed.

Baby is "napping". She is clearly exhausted.

M says she isn't sure if she wants to be the "stay at home" parent. She might be a vet, and have her husband stay home with the kids. She is sure, however, that she will nearly always wear high heeled shoes when she is a grown-up. She's practicing now.

My good friend, Anne, gave me an article entitled, "Should homeschooling be Illegal?" Her son goes to a great charter school, and Anne knows she's not planning on homeschooling. EVER. She gave me this article in fun because she knew it would get my hackles up.

So, Anne, right back at you, babe!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ogCc8ObiwQ

Keep reading... I promise to come circle; I'm just taking the scenic route.

This YouTube is an interview of John Taylor Gatto, a former New York Public School teacher, and a 3 time winner of the Teacher of the Year Award. After 30 years in the schools he became an outspoken advocate for the abollishment of compulsory school. He's not exactly mainstream. His research and knowledge of the "system" are, however, outstanding. He's worth listening to, and considering, though even I acknowledge some of the conclusions he draws are a bit extreme.

Ironically, I have been considering lately why I do this homeschooling thing. It's a lot of work. I have other choices. Why this? There are public schools that bus - and frankly it sounds mighty nice.

And so I'm back to the pictures.

Most of the reasons I feel strongly about homeschooling now are not the reasons I started homeschooling.

For instance: play. My kids are great friends; they play all sorts of creative pretend games for hours. They don't care that it's not "cool" for an 8 year old to play with a 4 year old. And they are better for having to learn how to include children of different abilities and skills. They have learned compassion, and you should see their tender care for their baby sister. Homeschooling allows my kids more down time, sometimes big chunks of time. They pretend, and build, and imagine. And, personally, I think E, M and Bub are smarter, and more innovative, and better problem solvers because of it. I firmly believe that more hours on prescribed tasks do not make for more intelligent children. Play is a child's work.

In moderation.

Another unforeseen blessing of homeschooling is the independence my kids have. My kids do their own laundry (okay, not baby, she's only 1). They unload the dishwasher. The clean bathrooms. They dust and vacuum. And the older two do a pretty reasonable job cooking. Bringing Baby home meant that I needed my kids help. Really needed it. And they learned to contribute, and are necessary members of our family. I've noticed that this is not unique to my kids. Homeschooled kids are expected to do more to contribute in their families, and they do it very well.

Also, my kid have been exposed to more great literature in their few years of school than I was be until I graduated from college. Great literature inspires. It teaches and compels in a way that text books cannot. Jesus taught from stories, and he was the best. Stories last; facts slip through the cracks. Stories require something from us; acquiring facts can be done without engaging ones conscience.

I love teaching my kids through literature, and schools don't do that.

There are lots of reasons I chose to homeschool, but I wasted enough time, and probably bored many of you. Sometime, I'll get back to it.

Backyard Bliss

On this, Father's Day, I am feeling blessed. Simple stuff. Today we grilled fillet mignon, and veggies. We had cheesy potato wedges, and watermellon and some rockin' margaritas. Just now my kids are enjoying orange sherbert push-up pops. Do you remember those?

At a time when grocery and gas prices are skyrocketing I'm enjoying the privledge of eating a great dinner with my family in our backyard. We don't often grill steaks; it was scrumptious. The weather was warm, the breeze was nice, the picnic table umbrella was positioned exactly right. My kids were well behaved and delightful; all was right in my little world. I felt safe and provided for/ Blessed.

I have had the privledge of enjoying those "safe and provided for" feelings most of my life. I have a great dad. He was fun, and took us camping. He provided for us - and we, naturally, took it for granted that he would. For the most part my childhood was safe, and good. And that is as it should be.

My children enjoy the same sense of safety and provision. They take it for granted, just as I did. And that is as it should be.

My dad, and my husband are part of a long tradition of good dads. Thanks guys!






Sideways veggie garden...

Hubby, taking a seista in the hammock. It's a Father's Day luxury.

Super cool playset. Pretend not to notice the brownish spots on the grass under the swings and rockwall. They irritate my husband to no end, but alas we have 4 children.

Our backyard 1 year ago. Believe it or not it was worse than this when we started. This was a landscaping project of mythic proportion, but we are enjoying the fruit of our labor this summer.

The alter of success

Today, I opened my Bible and began reading. I landed in Hosea. Generally speaking, this is a dumb way to do Bible study. But this morning it worked. Oddly, Hosea is one of my favorite books. It's obscure, I know, but particularly those first few chapters tell an amazing story.

So Hosea (besides having an unfortuante name) was a prophet of God, a messenger. God told Hosea to take for himself an unfaithful wife. Weird. Hosea's wife, Gomer (another unfortunate name) is just as trampy after marriage as she was before. She bears several children by her lovers all while being married to Hosea. God told Hosea to name those children terrible things. Their names meant things like: "Not mine", and "Unloved". So Hosea did. Gomer eventually leaves Hosea, and ends up in slavery. God tells Hosea to buy her out of slavery, and bring her back into his home as a wife.

So what's this all about?

It's an elaborate metaphor for God's relationship to his unfaithful people, the nation of Isreal. Over and over agian Isreal is unfaithful to the True God. They collectively worship idols. They shame God with their unfaithfulness.

But then God says (speaking of his love, Isreal):

Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth..."In that day" declares the Lord, "you will call me 'my husband' you will no longer call me 'my master.'

He changed the names of those who were called "not my people" to "sons of the living God"

I love it. What a powerful picture of God's redemptive heart. What a picture of his grace, and his relentless love.

It occured to me that we are a bit like trampy Gomer/Isreal. We shame ourselves, and our God when we buy into the lies of the culture...when we worship at the alter of success.

Here is what I mean. My friend, Cheryl, and her husband, Tim just brought their daughter home from China. Micayla Hong is 4 now, and had spent all of her life in an institution. They have not yet determined the extent of Micayla's disabilities. But they are significant.

Had Tim and Cheryl been looking for a good investment for 20K, by most people's standards bringing home Micayla wouldn't have been it. Micayla will undoubtedly make enormous strides in development in a nurturing home. But there are no guarantee's. And certainly, she is not, at this moment, the picture of health. She is wounded and needs much care.

We make a grave mistake when we equate value with performance. People are valuable because they are image bearers of the Most High God. Micayla Hong is a treasure. To say she is not is to bow down at the alter of success. We are shamed when our actions declare we value performance and success over the value of human life. And as a culture, we are shameful indeed.

When did children become a burden instead of a blessing? When did they become inconveniences rather treasures.

This is personal for me.

I constantly get stares when I go places with my 4 kids. "What kind of person chooses to have that many children?" I know that is what they are thinking. They would be appalled to know that our decision was deliberate, and we jumped through numerous hoops (and are still jumping) to bring the 4th into our home. AND she is at risk for delays...some potentially serious. We chose her. We love her. It has nothing to do with success, or status. To spend my life on her behalf would be a worthy endeavor. She is priceless. All of my kids are.

We are valuable because we are. Not because of what we can do, or what we can offer. We matter because God says we do. He longs to adopt us into His family, to give us a new name. He wants to allure us and speak tenderly to us. Even when what we do is unspeakable debauched we are valuable treasures.

Barbie Brainstorming

That last post got me thinking of some uncharted possibilities in Barbie production. I'm thinking Matel needs to steer away from the gigantic outlandishly perky breast version of Barbie and give young girls a taste of reality. For instance:

-Lactation Barbie
-PMS Barbie
-Hot Flash Barbie
-Botox Barbie
-Weight Watchers Barbie
-Hormone Replacement Therapy Barbie
-Prozac Barbie
-Bad Hair Day Barbie
-Adult Onset Acne Barbie
-Celulite /Vericose Vein Barbie
-Tree Hugger Barbie and her pal, Green Peace Barbie
-Mid Life Crisis Barbie
-Bad Break-up Barbie (comes with a 1/2 gallon of chocolate ice cream)

The possibilities are endless...and the accessories could be amusing.

How 'bout you... any ideas?

Consumer Debt Barbie

M has been saving her birthday money since March. Finally, it began to burn a hole in her pocket, so we ventured into the toy department at Walmart.

M walked out with new Barbie. This particular Barbie seemed fairly innocuous. She had a golden retriever and three puppies. She wasn't even dressed trampy - which is fairly remarkable really.

I think Matel has come out with a new line of Barbies. Hoochie Barbie. Street Walker Barbie. Lady of the Night Barbie. East Colfax Barbie, and so on. Only, of course, they don't call their Barbies that. It would be poor marketing.

But I digress.

I was pretty proud of myself that we walked out of the store without a Barbie from the new Hooker line Matel has been promoting. That is, until we got home and I realized the puppies actually peed on newspaper. Fabulous, urinating toy puppies. Exactly what we need. But hold the phone; that's not all. M's new Barbie came with a new purse - loaded with credit cards. Yep, we're trying to instill the American values of instant gratification and consumer debt early. 6 is not too young. We start them shopping young in our family. Nothing like a little credit card debt at 26% APR to start 'em out on the right foot.

So careful, if you send your daughters over to these parts for a play date. Chances are decent she'll get peed on by a toy puppy and she'll play with Consumer Debt Barbie.

2 cents on marriage

I don't have a lot more than 2 cents worth of commentary on marriage. So take it for what its worth.

We've had it pretty easy, hubby and I. So almost 10 years into it I don't have lots of tips and tricks for making it work. For us, it just does. I genuinely like my husband. I trust him; I know he's a man of integrity. We respect each other, and treat each other kindly. Our marriage is a priority for us. That's it.

The reason I feel ill equip to offer more than 2 cents is that I know its not that way of some people.

Sometimes trust is violated.

Sometimes people marry someone who is just plain selfish (and selfish doesn't work in marriage).

Sometimes financial stress or heart break tests the limits of what 2 people can handle.

Some people are just mean or violent; some people have the misfortune of being married to said mean people.

To these people I have very little to say. Sure, I have some pat answers that I got out of a marriage self-help book. But I have never walked it. I don't know the pain. I'm pretty sure that any advice I have to offer would sound trite.

This is the sum and total of my advice: Be kind; be gracious; be trustworthy; give more than you take; forgive, forgive, forgive. Unfortunately, it takes two. I cannot guarantee that following my advice will result in the other spouse doing the same. I cannot guarantee a "happily every after".

10 years into my own marriage I have witnessed other people struggle in their marriages. I've seen people who I thought would never get divorced divorce. I know stories of violence. I know some guys I'd like to kick in the shins for being such jerks to their wives. Both shins, and a kick farther North just for good measure.

I get why people divorce; and for some I say "get the heck out of Dodge". But bottom line: Divorce Sucks! It's death. Death of a dream. Death of a relationship. Death of a family. It destroys a potent picture of God's love for his church. Divorce Sucks!

In the Old Testament it says that God allowed for divorce because of evil.

And that's it, isn't it?

I am not Pollyanna and we don't live in Candyland. This is war, the ultimate war, between good and evil. Sometimes there are casualties. Sometimes the casualties are marriages, and families. There is death. But death is part of war. Evil exists. And it plays out in our relationships. We lose battles, and "happily ever after" never comes for some.

And so:

"I lift my eyes up to the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from you, O Lord, Maker of heaven and earth."

And I say:

"Come, Lord Jesus, come."

"And my hope is build on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness."

There you have it: my cheery 2 cents on marriage.

home birth

My very pregnant friend Dawn, is no longer. Pregnant, I mean. Now, she's very sleep deprived and the mother of 4. The newest is about 26 hours old, and a whopping 9lbs. 8 oz.

Welcome to planet Earth, Eli; I hope you enjoy your stay.

I've had the privledge of being a part of several births, but this was my first experience with a homebirth. It was very sweet. Dawn had 2 midwives and a doula. Both were grandma's and one had brought more than 400 babies into the world. They treated birth not as a medical proceedure, but an important event in the life of a family. They honored the process of birth and really treated Dawn with dignity.

When baby Eli made his appearance, Judy, the midwife in her late 60's exclaimed, "Praise God". Baby Eli was immediately placed on his mama's chest to snuggle. It was a joyful, peaceful birthday.

I was so happy for Dawn, and Cam, and the kids. Eli is a treasure, and their family has been blessed.

But it makes me a little sad to think of how Baby's birthday went. I wasn't there; I missed it. And baby was born into chaos, without a anyone to belong to. The nurses at the hospital snuggled and cared for Baby very well, but Baby was essentially in protective custody. She belonged to no one. 2 days into her life we came for her, and we treasure her like the gift that she is. But those 2 day were lost (not very long by orphan standards) were lost.

Random note:

Do not ask a woman in the grocery store with more than 2 kids, "Are those all yours?" Do not comment, "Wow! You've got your hands full." (She is aware; I promise). While it might be novel for you to see a woman with 4 or 5 or 6 kids (0r more) it is not novel to her. It is her life, and trust me, she's heard it before.

Also, please do not make comments like, "I could never do that." Because if it came down to it, you could. And the unspoken message that she is hearing is, "You're crazy for wanting that many kids, and I don't respect you, or your choice." It shouldn't be hurtful, but it is. And at the very least it is annoying.

And while I'm at it. Please refrain from asking a woman with a child who looks different from her if the child is "her's". Don't ask if they were adopted? And for God's sake don't ask about her children's real mom (you're looking at her). Frankly, it's none of your business, and she's tired of hearing it. She doesn't want your commentary on adoption. And she probably doesn't want to hear about your sister-in-law who considered adoption once.

These are her children. This is her life. Back off.

Of course this isn't the case if you are genuinely interested in large families, or adoption, and if you are her friend or aquaintence. In which case, this woman would be delighted to talk to you. Her family is one of her great passions, and she'd be happy to talk with you about it. But be warned she can detect any hint of disdain, or contempt.

Don't ask me how I know.

Prayer

My prayer life is pathetic right now. Actually, Hubby and I talked last night about how both of our spiritual walks seem sorta shallow right now. Technically, we're doing the right things, but the relationship part of the journey is sorta shallow. It's bugging me.

Isn't the the point of being a Christ Follower, and not a Muslim or a Jew? My God is not far off. He is near and WANTS to talk with me and KNOW me. I can't really even wrap my brain around that. So how is it then that I have missed the point? He wants mercy not sacrafice. He wants my heart not my paltry deeds.

Incidently, Bub has been praying more lately. We encourage it, especially at dinner time. Lately, he's big into thanking God for major appliances. Dinner prayers go something like this:

"Dear God, Thank you for this food, and for the refrigerator and the dishwasher. Amen"

We love it when Bub prays.

But those kiddos are part of the problem, well not the problem, but my hang up. It used to be that I would spend time journaling, and reading and praying. I'm an introvert, and an introspective kinda girl so this suited me well, and I did have a real vibrant walk with God. Now, I am rarely alone. Almost never! I long to be left alone. Going to the grocery store by my self, is a fabulous treat. So I need to learn to walk with in a new way, or carve out some time for myself.