dumb stuff I do...

Today was Kindergarten Picnic. It's a chace for all the new kindergartners, and their siblings meet at a park to get to know each other before the big all school orientation.*

Last night I made GF cupcakes to bring to the picnic. This morning we scrambled to get our homeschool done before 10:30 - an impressive feat. I packed a gluten-free picnic lunch just in case there weren't GF options for my kids at the potluck. Then I packed Baby's diaper bag. By 10:20 everybody was dressed, shoed, matching, fed, relatively clean AND in their carseats ready to go. I didn't even forget the cupcakes and even had time to swing by the library to pick up books on hold. BE IMPRESSED - THIS IS VERY, VERY DIFFICULT TO PULL OFF.

So,feeling fairly cocky, I swagger into the library 3 kids and 1 baby in tow. And let me tell you, swaggering while holding the hand of three year old and carrying a carseat is not easy. I check out the library books and am driving out of the parking lot in 7 minutes all kids accounted for and securely fastened. I think to myself, "I am soo good."

This is where things go down hill.

We show up at the park and we are the only ones there. Suspicious!

While I'm waiting I get a phone call..."Hi, I was just at the library and I found your wallet; I wanted to let you know I have it and its safe."

"Thank you." I say, and we arrange a time for me to pick it up. I am thankful my wallet was safe but the the ORGANIZED vs. DIPPY Pendulum has just swung in the other direction. I am feeling significantly less cocky about my speedy library book pick-up.

At least I was the first one at the park...that kind of promptness should count for something right? Especially since I have 4 kids. Well, as it turns out, I did show up at the park promptly at 11 AM. It just happened to be the WRONG park. Punctuality is now null and void. Pendulum is maxing out on the DIPPY side.

Turns out a friend showed up at the same wrong park. We figured out where we were supposed to be and a lovely time was had by all. Cupcakes were delicious; and I am humbled.

*To the confused: yes we homeschool, but we are also a part of a publicly funded OPTIONS program. My kids attend "regular" school 1 day a week.

Waxing elloquent on spiritual matters

Blessed be the LORD God of our fathers, who has put such a thing as this in the king's heart, to beautify the house of the LORD which is in Jerusalem, and has extended mercy to me before the king and his counselors, and before all the king's mighty princes. - Somewhere in Ezra, the Old Testament

I actually got around to reading my Bible yesterday. I get these e-mails with excerpts of the Bible sent to me. I was reading Ezra. So the story goes that the Jewish people had once again be exiled from their home land. But then Ezra, a prophet of God, shows up and King Artaxerxes, allows the Jews to return to the temple and rebuild it. He even gives them money for the job and send out this proclamation that its illegal for the temple workers to be taxed, and Ezra gets to make the rules. So Ezra says:

Blessed be the LORD God of our fathers, who has put such a thing as this in the king's heart, to beautify the house of the LORD which is in Jerusalem, and has extended mercy to me before the king and his counselors, and before all the king's mighty princes.

So I pray, "Wow God, you can move the heart of a King to show mercy and favor to a Nation, certainly you can make Baby's social worker favorable inclined towards us. Please make Baby's worker show mercy when she visits this afternoon, and please don't let Bub say anything rude or inappropriate. "

Guess what? The worker said that, if all goes as she expects that Termination of Parental Rights can happen mid November. This a huge step towards adoption. She also said if at the next court date plays out as expected she will create a permanency plan for adoption by a non-relative (aka- US). Yeah! This means if all goes as planned (and that is a BIG "if) the adoption could be finalized in February - before baby is even 1 year old. And that is almost unheard of.

So, pray with us on September 5th that court will goes as the worker expects and that baby will be ours sooner than later. We'll throw a party!

On Church

I never wanted to be a church "waffler". But alas that is what I am, and have been for the last 3.5 years.

When we moved to a new community we started attending an enourmous and cool church. We were knee deep in babies and toddlers, so we never got plugged in. I actually kinda like being annonymous, but we recognized that we were being the consumate consumers. Write a check. Enjoy great worship. Listen to the sermon. Get free babysitting while the kids are in a terrific sunday school. Send em to VBS. End of involvement. That is not what God had in mind for participating in the Body of Christ. We were treating church like Wal-mart.

So when some friends of ours caught the vision for starting a home church we thought it was a good time to make the switch. Home church is cool. It is so un-flashy. It is about relationships and God's word, just as it should be. But part of the vision of a home church is to eliminate infastructure so it allows people more time to minister in their community in organic/natural ways. I love this. The problem for us is that our church is 30 minutes away and in another community entirely. Getting connected and ministering in this town is just not feasible - especially with the arrivial of babiness. So though we are marinally more involved we've essentially re-created our mega-church experience.

To complicate things; we are both part of Life Groups that sort of exisit outside of church boundaries. The friendships we've made in these groups go way back. Particularly for me - my group is the Body of Christ in action. We love each other, pray for each other, help in crisis, and sometimes even study the Word together. Also, we are involved in and give to ministries that help orphans and underprivledged kids here and worldwide. So, we are involved in "THE CHURCH" just not "A CHURCH". Does that make sense?

Anyway - since the arrival of #4 driving 30 minutes to church has become major hurdle to getting to church. That, and lame excuses. We recognize that the problem isn't the church. It's US. We need to invest, and get connected.

These are the obstacles: church is far away and in another community, we are kinda stretched thin with 4 little kids, and introversion (neither of us like meeting new people - maybe hubby more than me). Then there is my Baptist Baggage: any church that reminds me of the legalism that was part of churches I grew up in rubs me the wrong way. We visited a church with banners on the wall - nice church, nice people, dumb banners evoked bad memories. Silly.

Last Sunday we visited a little church plant near our house. Little - wins points. Close to home - more points. No dumb banners - lots of points. Edgy worship and yummy coffee + friendly people - points, points,points. Doctrinally sound - more points. So maybe Hubby and I will take the pastor and his wife out to dinner, change our 'tude and and get involved.

Kids are up - gotta run! No time for spell check - sorry

Zucchini Based Meals and Protien Shakes

I think this is my 3rd post on zucchini. What does that say about me?

My itty-bitty garden has produced tons of zucchini. I 've given away a couple, but for the most part we've been eating them. I'm discovering that zucchini is very versatile vegetable. My family is discovering that their zucchini threshold is a lot lower than mine. This a list, to date, of all the zucchini recipes I've tried:

- Zucchini enchiladas
-Sausage and zucchini casserole
-Zucchini fritters
- Sauteed zucchini with tomatoes, onions and mushrooms
- Zucchini "apple" crisp
-Zucchini bread
-Antioxidant infused vegetable loaf (aka chocolate zucchini bread with chocolate chips)

The downside to having all this available and versatile produce is that it encourages me to bake. Since the zucchini ripened I've gained 6 lbs. Its like wearing large zucchini around on each thigh and one more on my belly. Not very attractive. So to counteract the zucchini bread thighs I've been trying drink a protein shake in the afternoon (the time of day when I usually go out to graze.) They don't taste too bad, but when I actually step back and evaluate what I'm putting into the shake even I am disgusted. Here is the recipe; I'll let you be the judge:

1 scoop of chocolate flavored egg protein
4-5 ice cubes
1 Tablespoon of flax meal (gotta get those Omega 3s)
1 tsp. psylium powder (boost the fiber)
1/2 a banana or a handful of frozen berries (an attempt to mask the flavor while adding anti-oxidants)

Blend until until smooth. Looks great; tastes like a milkshake gone awry.

Connections

I finally got up the nerve to call Baby's birth sisters' adoptive parents (did you follow that?). I don't know why I was nervous about it, but I was. It's hard for me to process that she is not just ours. She is God's child, and she has a birth family, and in particular, 2 big sisters.

Anyway, we're planning on meeting the girls' parents next week. Turns out they have tons of information and will be able to fill in a lot of the blanks for us. And they're really nice. They've been praying that Baby would have a good safe place to live and a family to love her. Kinda makes me feel silly about not calling earlier. Oh well!

Guess we will be getting some new extended family.

Thoughts I've been kickin' Around

The other day I told Hubby that, "I think I've become a liberal." He about had a coronary. In his book that is the equivalent of saying, "Today I'll shave my head and walk around town naked." Shocking. Distasteful. Heretical. Actually, after thinking about it, I don't make a very good liberal or conservative. I just don't like politics. Here is what I meant: Politics are annoying and Republicans, with their trickle down economics, come off as particularly egocentric and callous. While Democrats, foolhardy as they may be, at least have their heart in the right place. Poverty, pathetic public education, healthcare and racism are critical issues and war does suck. I agree with the "religious right"; we need to defend the rights of the unborn. I also agree, with those "damn liberals"; people already born have rights too, and we should defend them!

Here is where I scootch closer to the conservative side of things: I don't think government can effectively navigate the complexities that are the core issues of today. The issues are complicated and dynamic, and the government (practically by definition) is bureaucratic and inefficient. Change, at least meaningful and lasting change, happens with Christ and the only mechanism that will work is his church. I mean this in a very grassroots sort of a way; no big buildings and complicated infrastructure. So you don't think that single mom (who's pregnant for the fourth time) should be getting welfare? Well then pull out your checkbook and clear our your schedule to do a little babysitting. You think public education is a joke? Then you volunteer to tutor, or sit with that autistic kid during lunch so he doesn't get picked on and end up socking some snot nosed kid.

The redemption of a culture happens as Christ followers actually engage their culture and demonstrate the same kind of sacrificial love that Jesus did while he was on Earth. We should be known by our love. We should not look like some kind of preppy junior high clique too cool to sit with the loner in the corner.

And this from a suburban, stay-at-home mom. Yeah, I recognize the hypocrisy. I'm sitting in my cute 2 story white house typing these words on my laptop. Easy to say. Hard to live. But still...

Checking In

So my battle to decide what is good and what is best continues. I need to make decisions about this falls activities for the kids. There are Karate, and art classes and swimming lessons and basketball to choose from, not to mention that my kids' musical education has been sorely neglected. The facts are: A) It's too expensive to do all that stuff B)We'd never get school done if I had to take them to all of these things C) I would go crazy driving them around D) I know some people who seem to pull it all off, and I'm on a guilt trip about not being able to do it myself.

Some people can juggle a hundred different balls and not drop a single one. Me, I can juggle 3 or 4 and sometimes one slips away from me. I might as well accept it; I am not one of those super acheivers and ultra organzied folks. So I say to the demon of Perfection (there's gotta be one), "IT'S GOOD ENOUGH!!!!" "AVERAGE IS OKAY." "TODAY I'M GONNA ROCK MY BABY, READ TO MY BIG KIDS AND LIVE IN GRACE."

Got a Keeper

So school went better yesterday. (Thanks for the tip Karen - I re-stocked our prize box!)

The afternoon was awful. Our social worker stopped by; I like her a lot but the timing was rotten. M was unloading the diswasher and she fell off the chair and got hurt. Then later she threw a respectable fit. E was sporting his new "do" (spikey hair) which we negotiated as an alternative to getting a mohawk like his cousin. Honestly, I don't really care if his hair is spikey, but if there is one time that I'd prefer to portray the image of a clean cut family - it'd be when the workers visit. Baby howled, and was basically a pain to get to sleep. Then, Bub asks, "Are you coming to take me away?" Our worker is awesome; she expects real life, and she helped Bub understand that he got to stay. But seriously...this all happened in the hour she was at our house. At least Bub didn't tell Danna "I don't think that baby likes you." (Which is what he told Baby's worker last time she visited).

The less than ideal social worker visit on top of some less than ideal behavior coming from the the younger members of our family left me spent. Hubby could tell that I'd had it when he called late in the afternoon. He decided not to go to Bible Study and came home with a rose and some Junior Mints (my favorite). He rocked fussy Baby and got Bub and M to sleep. MY HERO. I think I got the very best husband in the world. He didn't have to do that! And frankly, I was not that fun to be around, and I certainly didn't look my best. He just loves me and he came to my rescue. So to all you single ladies out there - He's taken, very, very taken.

Today I hate homeschooling...

I need a place to vent, so here it is, TODAY'S SCHOOL STUNK! This is why it's irritating:
-My kids are supposed to learn a memory verse. This is easy for them, but today they dug in their heals. NOBODY knew the verse, they were creating stupid wrong ways to say the verse. Finally I sweetened the pot, I said, "I've got a peice of candy for the first kid who can say the verse correctly." Amazing how quickly all three of my kids spouted off the verse. They were literally just trying to be annoying - and it worked.
-Bub wanted to hear the same 2 dumb machine books again. He asked the same dumb questions is the same spots. He knows the answer to the questions, because he asked the questions yesterday. I think he likes asking questions he knows the answers to, but for a girl who is low on patience this it aggravating.
-M literally took a bite out of her basal reader - and ate it. She says paper tastes good. Then she pretended to read the words to the book, sounding out the tricky ones and everything. She "reads" the pictures and makes up what she thinks is a plausible story line. Somehow she thinks she will fake me out, like I can't read. Finally I told her, "M, I cannot read with you today, its too annoying." Guess what, she sat down and read the book perfectly.
- E hates copywork. He griped for 20 minutes, flopping on the floor and everything. Apparently he was overcome with a terrible headache, and so tired his hand wouldn't move. After 20 minutes of this he sat down and did his copywork perfectly in approximately 1 minute.

HOW DO THEY KNOW WHAT BUTTONS TO PUSH? THEY LITERALLY TRY TO IRRITATE ME. WHY OH WHY DO I HOMESCHOOL?

Zucchini

Our garden has started to produce zucchini...lots of them. I sauteed the first one we picked with other veggies and E declared it, "A waste of a perfectly good garden vegetable." He thinks that all zucchini should be turned into bread, or muffins, or cake. Heaven forbid we actually eat our veggies like veggies.

So in an effort not to "waste" anymore zucchini I have turned out a few loaves of yummy bread, and in the meantime discovered a fabulous secret. If you add 1/3 cup of cocoa to your bread recipe suddenly you have a chocolate zucchini bread that tastes suspiciously similar to chocolate cake. And you still slice it so you can eat it for breakfast on account of this technicality. Mmmmm....

Note to the cooks out there: I have a sneaking suspicion that if you heated the oil and then mixed in the cocoa (like mole) you would release the cocoa flavor and end up with a richer cake. Somebody needs to try it!

A New Look

Every once and a while I get an itch to change the look of my blog. I got the itch. I'm not sure I love pink this much, but hey it's good for a change. Also, I changed the settings so that you don't have to be a member or subscribe to leave a comment, so I expect lots of comments from you lurking blog readers. On a side note I need to tell you that my husband doesn't actually look like that. His head is a very normal shape, unfortuanately when I imported the image that's what happened and I can't figure out how to change it. Here is your first chance to comment: What do you think? Should I change the background to a very likeable green or leave it this slightly obnoxious Pepto Bismol color?

Deep Thoughts on Video Games and Boy Culture

I do not understand why video games are fun. Annoying? Yes. A waste of time? Absolutely! Fun? Not really.

But there are many who disagree, particularly those who have a XY chromosomal make-up. Guys, even little guys, dig driving around imaginary cars on imaginary race tracks, and defeating imaginary bad guys, and playing imaginary golf.

I've resigned myself to the fact that video games will be a part of my life. There are, after all, three in my family who have both a X and Y gene. So I caved. E got a X-Box (used) for his birthday. This is why I allowed it: video games are a part of boy culture( if you didn't know that you clearly don't have a 7 year old boy). And if I can get past the fact that I personally hate video games I can acknowledge that they are morally neutral. Do they pose danger? Yes. Are some games reprehensible? Uh-huh. Can kids get addicted? Yep - I think they can. But part of my job as a parent is to teach my children to have discernment in a culture that has both good and bad to offer. Bringing video games into our home begins the discussion. I can ask, "What is good? What is excellent? How much is enough?" I can engage my kids in thinking through their decisions and creating healthy boundaries. As they leave our home my kids will have to struggle with issues that are not black and white. They will have to learn to listen to the Spirit of God within them and respond to His leading and his Word. This Faith Walk is MESSY. And if I can 'walk it' with them while they are under my protection I think its better than throwing some arbitrary rules at them.

This doesn't mean that if I see video games causing undo trouble I won't be quick to pull the plug. And there IS part of me just wants to say, "They are a stupid waste of time and we won't allow them in our home." But by not allowing video games into our home I cut off my boys from one of the avenues they have to communicate with other boys. I want my kids to live in the world, but not be of the world. We did not choose to homeschool to home grow some cultural weirdos. We want to our kids to be winsome and culturally literate so that they can impact their world for Christ. And so E has an X-Box, which he can only play on weekends.

A week ago the neighbor kids were over when a storm hit a nearby city. The kids heard the flood warning alert on the radio and they were concerned. So E marched upstairs and told me about what they heard and pronounced, "We need to pray. Who's gonna pray?" The neighbor kids were startled, and bashful. But E and I quickly prayed and then the kids went down stairs to continue their game. E modeled for them something I think they had never seen. He showed them that,as Christians, we can take our troubled hearts and fears to God. He was totally unselfconscious and authentic. I was proud. And his actions caused me to consider how much I want to protect my kids from the "evils" of the world. My kids are bold and they have something to offer, I don't want to hide them away because I am afraid. Finding a balance between offering a safe-haven and and allowing my kids to engage their world is a constant struggle.

Two quick things...

My friend, Brenda, encouraged our homeschool group to check out the following website: http://www.fivefor50.com/

It's basically a movement w/i the Christian community to let our faith impact the world, particularly those suffering because of an AIDS epidemic and poverty. They've got some great ideas! Check it out!

We are no longer part of the video game abstience crowd...baby is MAD, so more on this later...