Thursday, July 24, 2008

And now we are six...

Maybe you've noticed...there are 6 of us.

This was not the plan.

Or at least this wasn't our plan.

We were done after having 3 children in close succession. And we had taken steps to ensure that, short of a miracle, there would be no more babies in our home. Yet, we do have four children, and the miracle that happened is one that happened in our hearts.

We went from a place where we said that we would not have any more children to actively pursuing adding to our family through adoption. And that was nothing short of a miracle. You see we had 3 kids already. We were intimately acquainted with sleepless nights. We knew about dirty diapers and doctors bills. Parenting isn't easy. We had no illusions about that.

So for us the adoption journey was one that started out of obedience. We believed that God has called us to care for widows and orphans, and for us, that meant adoption. So we went to an orientation meeting. And then we did the training. And then the homestudy, and the background checks. We were fingerprinted, and had physicals. Our home was inspected. And every step along the way we thought, "This is craziness". Yet crazy as it seemed we began to get excited about the child God had for our family.

It took 7 months after we were approved for adoption before our daughter was placed with us. 7 months in the grand scheme of life is nothing, but I think the waiting was draining for me in a way a couldn't have anticipated. Why was every other family having babies placed with them? Why did we wait? It was my first real taste of infertility, and I wasn't even infertile.

After 7 long months, we did get the call that there was a baby (just 2 day old) waiting to be picked up from the hospital. For some reason they were in a hurry to have her discharged. We're we interested? How soon could we come for her?

5 hours after we learned of her existence we went to bring our daughter home. It was a very surreal experience. We were going to bring our daughter home, and we knew almost nothing about her. We had no idea what she would look like or who she would be. And when we saw her for the first time it was love at first sight.

The thing about foster to adopt is that your heart is on the line. And that's the point. The idea is that adults take the emotional risk, so kids don't have to. This appealed to us, in theory. In practice - it's hard to love someone you know may be taken from you. So we learned to love our baby, all of our children really, with open hands. From the very beginning we had to love with our whole heart, yet entrust our baby to the care of her heavenly Father. And though it was not an easy thing, it was a good thing. The best really. For our children don't belong to us, they are His. And His care, His plan is infinitely better than ours.

This was one of our first lessons of adoption.

I think another thing we've learned this year is that obedience will cost everything, and be the best bargain around. There have been sleepless nights, and days filled with worry. And to be honest all those social worker visits became tedious. But no matter how high the cost the blessing has been so much greater. It has been such a blessing and a privilege to parent Baby.

My older kids have learned tenderness and patience. They serve their baby sister, and have time and time again put their own interests to the side in order to do what's best for her. Adopting Baby has cost them too! But they are better for it. And its been such fun to watch the bond develop between my kids. It's priceless.

I remember when my first son was born and I was dumbstruck by the love I felt for him. I was floored that my mom and dad had loved me with such intensity. And when I remembered that my God called himself my father I was blown away by the notion that the God of the universe could love me like that.

When Baby came home the analogy grew. I've been asked if the love I feel for my adopted child is the same that I feel for my bio kids. It is. Totally. She's the daughter of my heart. And somehow that blew me away too. God says that through Christ we've been adopted into His family and given His name. We have a heavenly inheritance waiting for us. So just as Baby is totally and fully my daughter - so am I the daughter of the Most High King.

Becoming a mom taught be about how God loved me. Adopting taught me the extent of God's love in a new way.

2 comments:

Kari said...

What a poetic entry! You are centered in the palm of His hand and that is amazing place to be!

The Feicht Family said...

I am new to your blog and I'm really hoping to find more of your story. My husband and I have been working toward foster-adopt for a while now and honestly, it has been nothing shy of a nightmare. It's so good to read from others who have been successful and know there is hope! Looking forward to seeing more of your story!