Some pics...

Here's proof M lost her first tooth.

And that my garden has started to produce...note yummy tomatoes, and rosemary, and basil. Also, note my attempt to look like a cool food blog by dressing the plate with herbs.

The boys wanted some "air time" too! Note their cheesy camera smiles.

Baby has discovered her belly button, which is rather remarkable really. It's just such a hassle to get the buddah belly out of the way and actually see ones belly button...

Do you see the resemblance? That lovely peice of art is a self portrait done by my youngest son. It's proof that schools in full swing for us. And actually it's going well...despite the baby factor.

Speaking of the baby factor, guess who discovered my fingernail polish and decided to do a little body art on her buddah belly. No, it wasn't me. She also decided to paint the carpet on the stairs, but I'm in denial about that. I don't want to talk about it.

Things that work...

Every year our homeschool group has a "favorite things" night. It's a chance for women to share what worked for their homeschool and life in the last year. It could be anything from a particular curriculum, to a discipline technique or a way to get their kids to do chores. Anything goes. It's a packed house on "favorite things" night, becuase, frankly, it's a wealth of fabulous ideas. So even though "favorite things" night is months away I thought I'd share mine.

TIC TACKS - (I actually stole this idea from another homeschool mom, but it's brilliant) One of the major stressors of getting out of the house was getting everyone in the car and ready to go. Often I'd say, "Get in the car.", only to go outside and find 3 kids throwing handfuls of grass into each others hair in the front yard. Or sometimes they would be in the car but not in their seats. The ways to not obey this direct instruction were almost endless - until the tic tack. It changed everything. Now the deal is everyone gets a tic tack when they are buckled safely into the car. Everytime. Now I go out to the car and find kids buckled in and waiting for a tic tack. It's amazing how an itsy-bitsy candy will motivate. Hey, but whatever works, and this works.

PLASTIC PLATES - Okay, I stole this idea too, but there's no law saying my ideas must be original.

Walmart was having a clearance on their "china" so I picked up plastic plates, bowls, cups and silverware. Each kid gets his or her own color. And they can ONLY USE their own color. After every time they eat they must wash their own stuff and re-set the table. Even a four year old can be trained to do this acceptably. What's the benefit? Independence, of course. And less work for me. The dishwasher is run less. The kids discover how nasty it can be to clean up oatmeal that has become encrusted on a bowl without a word from me. I can tell who's making the messes and who's not doing their job. And did I mention it's less work for me.

KIDS DO THEIR OWN LAUNDRY - Okay this one isn't fool proof. I still have to do some quality control. But laundry was fast becoming an overwhelming chore to me. I could never seem to get it all done and put away. Well come to find out even very little children can sort colors and start the washing machine. An eight year old can empty a washing machine and a four year old can load a dryer. And, believe it or not, with just a smidge of supervision my 4 year old folds laundry better than my older kids. Truthfully, they don't do a great job. But they do it, and I don't, and that's worth a lot. Really, is it necessary for things to be folded immaculately when most kids just rifle through their drawers anyway.

BENEFITS: 1)Less work for me 2)kids are more careful with their clothes when they've got to wash them. 3)I don't get as irritated when they dig through their drawers cause because I didn't just get done folding their clothes.

PRIVATE SWIMMING LESSONS) I know the rec center kind of swimming lessons work for lots of kids. But my kids were very hesitant swimmers - partly because they have no body fat to speak of. They are literally blue when they get out of rec center pools, and being that cold isn't conducive to learning.

So now I'm paying through the nose to have my kids learn to swim in private 10 minute lessons in a heated pool. And my kids are learning to swim. It's some of the best money I've spent on kids activities.

Okay, baby's up...gotta run.

first day of school

Today was the first day of school for us...Yeah, I know it's July, but it's hot, so we might as well bust out some school. That way when the busyiness of December hits we'll have the freedom to take some time off.

All and all it went okay...Baby was a bit of challenge, but I wouldn't have expected any less. My "positive reinforcement" systems seem to be working. (Doesn't positive reinforce sound so much nicer than bribery?)

Wish us luck!

And now we are six...

Maybe you've noticed...there are 6 of us.

This was not the plan.

Or at least this wasn't our plan.

We were done after having 3 children in close succession. And we had taken steps to ensure that, short of a miracle, there would be no more babies in our home. Yet, we do have four children, and the miracle that happened is one that happened in our hearts.

We went from a place where we said that we would not have any more children to actively pursuing adding to our family through adoption. And that was nothing short of a miracle. You see we had 3 kids already. We were intimately acquainted with sleepless nights. We knew about dirty diapers and doctors bills. Parenting isn't easy. We had no illusions about that.

So for us the adoption journey was one that started out of obedience. We believed that God has called us to care for widows and orphans, and for us, that meant adoption. So we went to an orientation meeting. And then we did the training. And then the homestudy, and the background checks. We were fingerprinted, and had physicals. Our home was inspected. And every step along the way we thought, "This is craziness". Yet crazy as it seemed we began to get excited about the child God had for our family.

It took 7 months after we were approved for adoption before our daughter was placed with us. 7 months in the grand scheme of life is nothing, but I think the waiting was draining for me in a way a couldn't have anticipated. Why was every other family having babies placed with them? Why did we wait? It was my first real taste of infertility, and I wasn't even infertile.

After 7 long months, we did get the call that there was a baby (just 2 day old) waiting to be picked up from the hospital. For some reason they were in a hurry to have her discharged. We're we interested? How soon could we come for her?

5 hours after we learned of her existence we went to bring our daughter home. It was a very surreal experience. We were going to bring our daughter home, and we knew almost nothing about her. We had no idea what she would look like or who she would be. And when we saw her for the first time it was love at first sight.

The thing about foster to adopt is that your heart is on the line. And that's the point. The idea is that adults take the emotional risk, so kids don't have to. This appealed to us, in theory. In practice - it's hard to love someone you know may be taken from you. So we learned to love our baby, all of our children really, with open hands. From the very beginning we had to love with our whole heart, yet entrust our baby to the care of her heavenly Father. And though it was not an easy thing, it was a good thing. The best really. For our children don't belong to us, they are His. And His care, His plan is infinitely better than ours.

This was one of our first lessons of adoption.

I think another thing we've learned this year is that obedience will cost everything, and be the best bargain around. There have been sleepless nights, and days filled with worry. And to be honest all those social worker visits became tedious. But no matter how high the cost the blessing has been so much greater. It has been such a blessing and a privilege to parent Baby.

My older kids have learned tenderness and patience. They serve their baby sister, and have time and time again put their own interests to the side in order to do what's best for her. Adopting Baby has cost them too! But they are better for it. And its been such fun to watch the bond develop between my kids. It's priceless.

I remember when my first son was born and I was dumbstruck by the love I felt for him. I was floored that my mom and dad had loved me with such intensity. And when I remembered that my God called himself my father I was blown away by the notion that the God of the universe could love me like that.

When Baby came home the analogy grew. I've been asked if the love I feel for my adopted child is the same that I feel for my bio kids. It is. Totally. She's the daughter of my heart. And somehow that blew me away too. God says that through Christ we've been adopted into His family and given His name. We have a heavenly inheritance waiting for us. So just as Baby is totally and fully my daughter - so am I the daughter of the Most High King.

Becoming a mom taught be about how God loved me. Adopting taught me the extent of God's love in a new way.

A man of peace.

So M was being obnoxious and intentionally irritating. It happens around here, from time to time.

Her big brother was getting fed up (and I cannot say that I blame him). He told her, "You're just lucky I'm a man of peace."

Not sure precisely what that meant, but I agree. E is a peacemaker - and we are lucky to have him.

Also, it was good for a chuckle.

fat weight

I have 2 weights: my fat weight, and my skinny weight. Currently, I am camped out at the high end of my fat weight. I actually had to buy new shorts this year b/c my old ones where too tight in all the wrong places.

I can blame it on lots of things: the stress of this last year, my medication, getting older... and probably they are all sort of true.

But the obnoxious REAL truth is that I'm at my fat weight because I ate too much. I consumed more calories than I spent, and the end result is is this unattractive chub.

Sadly, the only remedy to this problem is dieting. I don't like dieting. I prefer brownies. I don't like salad with a sprinkling of balsamic vinegar; I'd prefer the ranch dressing.

But excess pounds do translate into health problems. And excess pounds are, at least in my life, usually a symptom of self-indulgence - the not pretty kind.

So it looks like its grilled veggies and sugar free popsicles for me. With any luck I should be at my skinny weight right around the time Christmas cookies are being baked.

UGG

The Nearness of God is My Good

My garden is 2 years old, and half way through the summer its really starting to take shape. It's full, and blooming and it took time. Gardening reminds me to be patient - with myself and with others. Because it just takes time. You can water, and compost and weed, in fact, you must. But there is no substitute for time. It's not all in my control - I must wait and watch as things begin to take shape.

In my backyard there is a mum that is sort of pale green and anemic looking. It's not getting the time it needs in the sun, and its just hanging on. I see no buds and I don't think it will flower this year. It needs more time in the sun to bloom.

I feel like that too. Spiritually anemic. I need time in the sun to bloom. Sure, I can survive - hang on, but to be at my best I need to be absorbing the truth that comes from spending time with my God. Oddly, sometimes this feels like another chore. But that isn't true. The nearness of God is my good. I need it to bloom. I cannot give to others when I have neglected the first things. My life produces little fruit if I am anemic and weak from lack of time with my God.

Ruth

I am a sap of epic proportion. It's the truth, and for whatever reason I'm a little bit embarrassed by this part of who I am. It's a little too girlish and vulnerable. But I've got to share this with you.

I've started to read the book of Ruth, it's in the Bible and I think its got to be one of the top ten best love stories ever. When I was a child I heard the story in Sunday School, but I missed the undercurrent. The Sunday School version skips the sexual tension, seduction, and match making by a manipulative mother-in-law. The Sunday School version leaves out the part where Boaz is rip-roaring drunk on his barn floor when Ruth, a dark skinned foreigner comes to him.

I could re-tell the story, and I might one day. But you should read it yourself. And better yet you should get the book by Francine Rivers called Ruth (its a novella) that brings this story to life and unravels some of the cultural things that we might miss.

The Sunday School version of the Bible is sort of the Disney Land version of real life. But when you read the real Bible you discover that its full of intrigue, and betrayal, and murder, and sex. Yep, there is a whole book of the Bible that is erotica - plain and simple. But interwoven into these stories of hurt and human pain is the golden cord of redemption. The Hope that there is a God who is in control, and who is good and wants to know and love me. It's there in the mess. Always there.

And the story of Ruth is no different. It's a story of two women at the margins of society who have lost everything, who have known bitterness and hunger, and been really, really vulnerable. But there in the mix is loyalty. And then there is the Kinsman Redeemer, Boaz. He's the good and powerful man who offers protection, provision. He's the one who falls for the foreigner and and makes the love story have a happy ending.

As a kid I never particularly cared for this story. But today I love it, because it is messy. Those 2 women, Ruth and Naomi, had endured loss. Boaz was rip-roaring drunk on the floor. And something beautiful and redemptive happened through the mess and the loss.

The best part is that it isn't a story about people who lived long ago. It is my story. It is yours. Jesus longs to be the hero, the lover, and redeemer in your story. He wants to make the crap I've endured, and the crap you've endured into a happily ever after. He can give meaning to loss, and a place of security and honor to those who have spent their lives on the margins. He is the best love story of all time.

Maybe the only one that really matters.

ahhh.....

Not feeling particularly coherent today, but I thought I should check-in.

-When you're the 4th kid your first words are not normal baby first words. They are words like, "yeah, baby" and "whoa", and "no way". Its also possible you could learn to make fake burp noises because it's a cheap laugh.


-Bubbism for the day: (here's the context - we were talking about doing the right thing, and choosing not to do wrong. Bub had something to add to the discussion.)

"Mom, you should also not look at other peoples diarrhea."

Excellent point. But what I think he meant was that you shouldn't read other peoples diary's - come to think of it those two words do sound awfully similar.

It's official

A letter to my daughter on the day of her adoption

Dearest Baby,

Last night was the eve of your adoption, and you were oblivious. You threw a tantrum because Daddy insisted you have a clean diaper and jammies before you got your bottle and snuggle time.

This morning you woke up with a bad case of bed head - you're hair looked like an Elvis impersonation gone awry. But you didn't care. You just happily presented me you're chubby little feet for a round of "This Little Piggy." In your little life you've known nothing but tender care. So this day, this adoption day means little to you. But it is so special to me. I keep thinking, "I could have missed this." If just one little detail was altered I could have missed this chance to be your mommy.

When we decided to adopt you we already had your big brothers and sister. And it was scary for us to think of loving a baby who may not be able to stay with us. But in the end we did choose to adopt - and I am so glad we did.

And it's not so impossible to think that your birth mom could have "terminated her pregnancy", and you would have gone to be with Jesus before you were even born. I'm sure she was encouraged to do just that. But she didn't, and you had a chance at life.

And I think, "What if the social workers had called another family, and not us?". But that didn't happen either. Your birth sister's parents had been praying (and we'd been praying too) that you'd find just the right family. And when we went to the hospital to get you and saw you for the first time I knew you were ours. You had these amazing dark chocolate eyes and a cute mess of dark hair. I had dreamed of you, literally dreamed of you. And when I saw you I knew you were ours.

Those first few weeks you were home were unnerving because you didn't know how to eat; we were always afraid you weren't getting enough to grow. And you were not one for sleeping in those early days, at least not at night. So when you were 5 weeks old and you had a fever that spiked I was already exhausted. But the night of your fever was the most exhausting of my life.

I watched you be poked and pricked; you had blood drawn and IV's placed. And you screamed and screamed as a the doctors tried to do a spinal tap. You were septic because your kidneys weren't working properly, and we almost lost you. About 5AM after hours of testing I was so tired I thought I'd fall asleep and drop you. So I set you down on the table, and your heart rate plummeted. The attending physician ran into your room. I picked you up and snuggled you close and your heart rate stabilized. So the attending doctor ordered a recliner chair for me so if I fell asleep I wouldn't drop you. He knew that babies need to be held. You needed to be held. What if I hadn't been able to hold you through those long days at Children's Hospital? What if I missed the chance to love you?

This year hasn't been the easiest. Frankly, at almost 14 months you are into everything; and I know the years ahead won't be a "cake walk" either. Loving you wasn't the path to a life of comfort and leisure, but you sweet Baby are a precious gift. We are so glad your are a part of our forever family, and I'm so glad I didn't miss the chance to be your mom.

Provision

I would post some pictures, but my memory card is full, and I don't know how to dump it with the software on my new laptop. I've got a call into our IT department (read Hubby) but you'll just have to wait.

In the meantime I need to tell you about cool stuff happening around here. You'll need a little background info.

When we got married we were dirt poor living in an affluent area. We would literally scrounged up change from the cracks in the upholstery of our car and then use a "buy one get one free" coupon for ice cream cones. We'd pay for our cones in nickles and penniess and quarters and coupons. And that was a splurge.

Anyway, until the very recent past we have been living pretty lean, but Hubby has developed this discipline of generosity. We give more than we can comfortably afford. We always have - as a matter of principle. I can take no credit for this; it's all Hubby. And I have to admit that over the years it has been one of the biggest "faith builders" in my life. It's scary to let go of what appears to be financial security and trust that my needs will be met. But over and over again they have been. Not only are my needs met but we've also been blessed with extravagance we could never afford. And I am learning to trust.

So as part of the process of learning to trust I developed a habit of praying over my wish-list. There are always things I cannot afford, or do not feel the freedom to spend money on. So I pray.

Recently, I've been wanting our basement finished (at least 1/2 of it) so I can use it as a school room. I need a place where I can teach and baby is contained and safe. The basement would be perfect. BUT I didn't feel we should spend money on finishing our basement now. So I started to pray that Hubby would find the building materials we need left over on the projects he runs. Almost immediately, Hubby found 6 very nice incandescent lights headed for the dumpster. And just this week he's picked up studs for framing and drywall. He's going to be working our school room this weekend. And it will be almost without cost. Cool huh?

Here are some of my other prayed for blessings:
-patio furniture (a teak set worth 5K - FREE)
-a walk out basement
-someone to help us remove concrete caissons from our back yard (don't ask - it wasn't pretty)
-vacation (a weekend in the Mayan Rivera at a 5 star resort, was more than I expected, but what I got)

I am not trying to that God is like a big vending machine in the sky. He isn't. But he is good and he does give good gifts.

I cannot answer why some people get laid-off, and some people don't have enough for dinner tonight. I cannot say why we have enjoyed so much when other do not. But I do know that that dry wall and those steel studs were a bit of unmerited favor from the one who heard my prayer.

Unrelated meanderings

Bub: Mom can we watch TV after we do our chores?
Me: potentially
Bub: What's potentially mean?
Me: maybe
Bub: Mom, where'd you learn to speak a Spanish?

(Did you know "potentially" was a Spanish word? Me either.)
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-Yesterday I had a prickly pear margarita and a Mexican MaiTai with dinner (its my birthday) They were yummy; I talked A LOT! This amuses Hubby; I secretly think he likes to get me tipsy.

-I also got a chocolate truffle. It was a very good day.

-Wednesday's the day. Baby will be ours forever and always. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me. Giddy, very giddy!

I bought 5 12-packs of pop, because they were on sale for the 4th of July. This was a mistake, because I am rediscovering the joys of carbonation. Diet pop has absolutely no redeeming nutritional value. And I love it.

-My sister introduced me to "Making Friends" paper dolls (Google it). M and Bub think they are super duper fun and it keeps them entertained for hours. I also have teeny tiny scraps of paper littering every square inch of my house. It's hard to decide if its worth it. On the one hand we have educational productive entertainment, on the other we have a colossal mess. Hmmm....TV is much neater, and it doesn't really rot children's brains does it?

Really Really Pointless

We just had the biggest, dumbest fight ever, Hubby and me. I mean really pointless - absolutely no point whatsoever.

We were both so irked it took us a couple hours to cool down; then, we rehashed. Usually, once we cool down and talk it out some clarity arises out of the mess. Not so today. We talked in circles and after that we concluded that, "That was a really, really dumb fight." It all boiled miscommunication and too short of fuses.

I hate when that happens. It was a complete waste of time and emotional energy, and we wasted a good part of today being annoyed at each other.

So when we finally made up I asked Hubby,"Are we gonna have to do this again? 'Cause I hate it". Hubby replied, "Yeah, probably."

And there you go.

Skip

If, spiritually speaking, we need to learn to run and jump. I think its only fair that we should learn to skip, too. When's the last time you saw an adult skip? I bet it wasn't recently.

Kids skip. They do it unself-conciously, becuase it's fun and they can. Kids skip. Becuase they don't have a care in the world.

So when is it we stop skipping, and why? I think somewhere in the process of growing up we begin to care what other people think of us, and we begin to be burdened with responsibility and hurts. And we stop skipping.

I'm not suggesting we all head out and literally skip around the block, in some warped effort to bring back a lost art form. And the reality is that grown-ups deal with some pretty heavy things. Sometimes life weighs us down so much that all we can manage is a stagger. We can barely put one foot in front of another. I get that. I've lived there.

But often times I think we put those burdens on ourselves. Jesus says, "my burden is light".

Why does it feel so heavy?

Maybe we care about things we shouldn't. Maybe we take on responsibilities that were never meant to be ours. Maybe we are addicted to worry, and control. And maybe the ball and chain that keep us staggering forward is of our own making.

Jesus said, "do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?
Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?
Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?'
All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.

So stop your worrying and skip.