I've heard some people say that they feel proud to be adopting. This is not my experience. I always feel... what's the word....ahh yes.....WEIRD. In fact, I have to work at not sounding apologetic when I explain our choice. We have good reasons; we were not impulsive. But I know to most people this seems like a crazy decision.
"You have how many children?" "You're how old?" "And you homeschool?"
Yeah, I know. This is not the life that I thought that I'd have. I never thought I'd be a stay-at-home mom; I never thought I'd homeschool. But the truth is my children and my husband have absolutely captured my heart. And the only jobs that interest me are the ones that invest in people and pay crappy. Being a homeschooling mom definitely fits the bill.
So why adopt? Your life is already full?
There are several reasons. One is this: God loves kids, and he has a special heart for those who are orphaned. God wants to place the lonely in families. He says that pure and undefiled religion is caring for widows and orphans. I think with so much pomp and hypocrisy in the church its hard to know what's the real deal. But orphan care is the real deal. It is pure and undefiled.
Several years ago my heart began to break for babies and children who suffered unspeakable trauma and didn't have anyone to love them. I knew then that I had seen a piece of God, because His heart breaks too! He cares, and as his people, we should care!
If we have the chance to be a part of something that is at the very center of God's Redemptive Heart, then I want to do it. So what if it's scary? So what if people think we're crazy? So what its really hard, and a bad financial decision? We are talking about a child, a child that God loves. And children are a blessing- always, and without exception.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Hippy Doctors, Here I Come
I'm gluten-free and dairy free. I don't cheat on the gluten part, but cheat with some regularity on dairy. A specialized diet has sort have become second nature to me, and I don't really think about it except when I go to the grocery store, or a restaurant. Abnormal becomes normal after you live with it for awhile, and I'd lost track of all the things I have allergies and sensitivities to. So here is my list. I'm allergic to:
-pine pollen
-grass
-wheat
-rye
-barley
-dairy
-metal
-some sunscreen
-some lotion
-some soap
-my dog
-rabbits
-cats
-walnuts
-maybe almonds
My sister sees this hippy homeopathic family practitioner. My good friend, is also seeing a homeopathic MD. I'm liking these hippy doctors - and I think this might be my next line of attack. Currently, I'm taking super strong antibiotics, an anti-fungal and steroids, and trying to avoid all my allergens. It's not really working, and all that the traditional practitioners have to offer is a CAT scan, surgery, anti-histamines and stronger steroids. Yes indeed, the hippys are sounding mighty good about now. I went to school at CU Boulder after all, and truth be told I own not 1, but 2, pairs of Birkenstocks.
Peace Out!
-pine pollen
-grass
-wheat
-rye
-barley
-dairy
-metal
-some sunscreen
-some lotion
-some soap
-my dog
-rabbits
-cats
-walnuts
-maybe almonds
My sister sees this hippy homeopathic family practitioner. My good friend, is also seeing a homeopathic MD. I'm liking these hippy doctors - and I think this might be my next line of attack. Currently, I'm taking super strong antibiotics, an anti-fungal and steroids, and trying to avoid all my allergens. It's not really working, and all that the traditional practitioners have to offer is a CAT scan, surgery, anti-histamines and stronger steroids. Yes indeed, the hippys are sounding mighty good about now. I went to school at CU Boulder after all, and truth be told I own not 1, but 2, pairs of Birkenstocks.
Peace Out!
Friday, March 30, 2007
Guilt, the bane of a Recovering Baptist
I'm a recovering Baptist. It's a hard habit to kick, actually. There are at least 1 thing that you have to overcome.
GUILT. Not all Baptists, but the good ones, have very long lists of the things that one should and should not do. If I were to sum up the things I'd say: "Baptists don't smoke or drink or chew or go with girls do". They don't dance. Dancing leads to sex. PERIOD. Sex is even questionable on the off chance that may lead to dancing. Also, good Baptists don't go to the theatre to see a movie; renting movies is generally acceptable, but theatres are a "no-no". Foul language is generally not permitted, nor is being someplace where someone might actually use profanity. Most Baptists encourage women to wear frumpy jumpers; its best if they are made of ugly plaid and have applique farm animals on the bodice so as to completely eliminate the possibility of lust. Okay, I'm exaggerating. A little.
As a recovering Baptist I've made it a point to drink (wine, beer and margaritas), go out to movies, dance, and wear the occasional little black dress. Sometimes I even say a four letter word (truth is that I'm not a very good cusser - it's more of an art than you'd think) I've done all of these things, without a smidge of guilt. Not a smidge. I think it's a sign of recovery. But guilt is insidious. The "Shoulas" and "Couldas" of life sneak in the cracks and weigh me down. Guilt rears its ugly head with things like this: "Shoulda exercised today." "Coulda cleaned the bathroom instead of checked my email." "Oughta have sent that birthday card" "Shoulda read my kids a book instead of parking them in front of the tube." If I were a good cusser I'd say, "F--- it." I'm gonna learn to live in GRACE. There is now no condemnation for those who are Christ Jesus.
GUILT. Not all Baptists, but the good ones, have very long lists of the things that one should and should not do. If I were to sum up the things I'd say: "Baptists don't smoke or drink or chew or go with girls do". They don't dance. Dancing leads to sex. PERIOD. Sex is even questionable on the off chance that may lead to dancing. Also, good Baptists don't go to the theatre to see a movie; renting movies is generally acceptable, but theatres are a "no-no". Foul language is generally not permitted, nor is being someplace where someone might actually use profanity. Most Baptists encourage women to wear frumpy jumpers; its best if they are made of ugly plaid and have applique farm animals on the bodice so as to completely eliminate the possibility of lust. Okay, I'm exaggerating. A little.
As a recovering Baptist I've made it a point to drink (wine, beer and margaritas), go out to movies, dance, and wear the occasional little black dress. Sometimes I even say a four letter word (truth is that I'm not a very good cusser - it's more of an art than you'd think) I've done all of these things, without a smidge of guilt. Not a smidge. I think it's a sign of recovery. But guilt is insidious. The "Shoulas" and "Couldas" of life sneak in the cracks and weigh me down. Guilt rears its ugly head with things like this: "Shoulda exercised today." "Coulda cleaned the bathroom instead of checked my email." "Oughta have sent that birthday card" "Shoulda read my kids a book instead of parking them in front of the tube." If I were a good cusser I'd say, "F--- it." I'm gonna learn to live in GRACE. There is now no condemnation for those who are Christ Jesus.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Guilt the gift that keeps on giving
When the reality of adoption started to sink in my husband suggested we check out a magnet school in our district for our kids. Homeschooling a 2nd grader, a Kindergartener, and a pre-schooler and taking care of a high needs baby sounds like a lot. He wanted to make sure I didn't get in over my head.
So we checked out Hulstrom Options School. We liked it a lot. It had programs to fit each of our kids needs; the principal and teaching staff were wonderful. The kicker is that Hulstrom is a difficult school to get into. So I went to through this ridiculous rig-a-ma-roll that envolved standing in the freezing cold at 1AM to get a chance at getting my kids in.
M did, and what's more she tested into their Gifted program - with very high IQ scores (told ya my kids were smart). The problem is that there are no spaces currently available for the older grades. For E to get into the program someone would have to move or drop out of the program. E would then have to test in to the program and have the highest lottery number - basically an act of God. I'm not putting it past God; I'm just saying aside from His intervention our chances are nil. We are waiting to hear what happens.
Did I mention waiting sucks?
This week I came away from my homeschool support group feeling inept at schooling my kids and also feeling like I would be an absolutely irresponsible parent if I sent my kids to a public school. I swear this must be some kind of spiritual attack / mind game becuase homeschooling and Hulstrom are our only options. The guilt and shame that rocked me would have shown up on the rickter scale and the speaker was a really nice lady who had no intention of shaming anyone.
Here are the facts:
-I'm a good mom
- My kids are doing better than "just fine" in academics
-I do my best to do what's best for my kids, and though I sometimes get it wrong, most of the time I don't.
-God is good; he's not capricious.
-There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, this includes ridiculous feeling of guilt and shame over school decision for my kids.
okay the kids are up....check back for part II
So we checked out Hulstrom Options School. We liked it a lot. It had programs to fit each of our kids needs; the principal and teaching staff were wonderful. The kicker is that Hulstrom is a difficult school to get into. So I went to through this ridiculous rig-a-ma-roll that envolved standing in the freezing cold at 1AM to get a chance at getting my kids in.
M did, and what's more she tested into their Gifted program - with very high IQ scores (told ya my kids were smart). The problem is that there are no spaces currently available for the older grades. For E to get into the program someone would have to move or drop out of the program. E would then have to test in to the program and have the highest lottery number - basically an act of God. I'm not putting it past God; I'm just saying aside from His intervention our chances are nil. We are waiting to hear what happens.
Did I mention waiting sucks?
This week I came away from my homeschool support group feeling inept at schooling my kids and also feeling like I would be an absolutely irresponsible parent if I sent my kids to a public school. I swear this must be some kind of spiritual attack / mind game becuase homeschooling and Hulstrom are our only options. The guilt and shame that rocked me would have shown up on the rickter scale and the speaker was a really nice lady who had no intention of shaming anyone.
Here are the facts:
-I'm a good mom
- My kids are doing better than "just fine" in academics
-I do my best to do what's best for my kids, and though I sometimes get it wrong, most of the time I don't.
-God is good; he's not capricious.
-There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, this includes ridiculous feeling of guilt and shame over school decision for my kids.
okay the kids are up....check back for part II
Monday, March 19, 2007
P.S. E won 3rd place in the science fair.
I'll post a picture to prove it if only I can find the digital camera.
Kuddos for Children's Hospital (Reader's Digest Edition)
My first born is brilliant. Yeah, yeah, I know, everybody's kid is brilliant. But really, E, is very smart. He's particularly fascinated by science, and he "get's" abstract concepts almost without effort.
There is a flip side to this "coin" however. E struggle with fine motor skills and coordination. Handwriting would be his purgatory. Since he is so bright, people tend not to take me seriously when I'm looking for help. He's great at finding clever ways to get around his weaknesses. (For instance, He's done his math homework in Roman numerals so he didn't have to form the numbers).
After several dead ends, I got a referral to Children's Hosptial's Occupational and Physical Therapy Department. I cannot say enough good about my experience with them. So far, E has been evaluated by the Physical Therapist. She was wonderful, and personable . She made E feel comfortable, and asked all the right questions. She quickly honed in on the kind of kid my son was. She understood him.
The PT said she could help E with a few things, but that the OT would probably be of the most benefit to E. Already, the few exercises that she has us doing are helping. E is improving, and he is so encouraged. We are too.
We have been praying about getting the right help for E for a long long time, and this is definitely an answer to prayer. I highly recommend Children's to any parent who is struggling to get answer for his or her child.
I've got more than 2 cents to say about this topic - a buck fifty, at least. But, alas, my children are outside making mud balls and will shortly require a bath.
There is a flip side to this "coin" however. E struggle with fine motor skills and coordination. Handwriting would be his purgatory. Since he is so bright, people tend not to take me seriously when I'm looking for help. He's great at finding clever ways to get around his weaknesses. (For instance, He's done his math homework in Roman numerals so he didn't have to form the numbers).
After several dead ends, I got a referral to Children's Hosptial's Occupational and Physical Therapy Department. I cannot say enough good about my experience with them. So far, E has been evaluated by the Physical Therapist. She was wonderful, and personable . She made E feel comfortable, and asked all the right questions. She quickly honed in on the kind of kid my son was. She understood him.
The PT said she could help E with a few things, but that the OT would probably be of the most benefit to E. Already, the few exercises that she has us doing are helping. E is improving, and he is so encouraged. We are too.
We have been praying about getting the right help for E for a long long time, and this is definitely an answer to prayer. I highly recommend Children's to any parent who is struggling to get answer for his or her child.
I've got more than 2 cents to say about this topic - a buck fifty, at least. But, alas, my children are outside making mud balls and will shortly require a bath.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
An Easy Dinner Idea
I'm always looking for a good, healthy, quick dinner idea. I just made this one recently. It's yummy, easy, vegetarian, and a good summer dish. Hope you like it:
Corn and Black Bean Salad
2 cans of black beans rinsed
1 can (or so) of sweet corn
2 diced tomatoes
1 diced avocado
apx. 1/2 c. minced cilantro (or to taste)
salt and a smidge of cayenne pepper
1-2 tsp minced garlic ( or to taste)
1/4 c. fresh squeezed lime juice
1/3 c. olive oil.
Mix it all together and enjoy. I used this as a main dish (its hardy enough) but it would also make a nice side for quesidillas, or grilled chicken. Obviously, I approximate when I cook, so you can adjust these basic ingredients to suit your tastes.
Corn and Black Bean Salad
2 cans of black beans rinsed
1 can (or so) of sweet corn
2 diced tomatoes
1 diced avocado
apx. 1/2 c. minced cilantro (or to taste)
salt and a smidge of cayenne pepper
1-2 tsp minced garlic ( or to taste)
1/4 c. fresh squeezed lime juice
1/3 c. olive oil.
Mix it all together and enjoy. I used this as a main dish (its hardy enough) but it would also make a nice side for quesidillas, or grilled chicken. Obviously, I approximate when I cook, so you can adjust these basic ingredients to suit your tastes.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Bub
Bub is our littlest. (No we didn't really name him that) He's a pain, pretty much a royal pain. I adore him. He's hysterical. And naughty. Last week we called it a day and went to the park after Bub found a black marker and did a little "face art". I was afraid of what he'd do to my house if we stayed indoors. I don't scare easy, but I had good reason to be nervous. You should see what he's done to our walls, and his sisters hair, and the carpet, luckily the dog is fast.
Last week I was out with my girlfriends and Eddie was cleaning up dinner when he heard screaming from upstairs... our bathroom to be more precise. Caleb was standing on the counter peeing. Yuck. Glad I missed it. Eddie made Bub clean it up - just punishment.
Last night at church (we do home church) Caleb was in the basement twirling on an office chair. Apparently, he started feeling a little woozy. He came upstairs and interrupted prayer by vomiting into my awaiting hands.
I know...I know... he sounds like a pill. He is. But he so cute, and funny and cuddly. He tells hilarious stories, complete with sound effects and I couldn't love him more. I'm so glad God gave him to us.
Last week I was out with my girlfriends and Eddie was cleaning up dinner when he heard screaming from upstairs... our bathroom to be more precise. Caleb was standing on the counter peeing. Yuck. Glad I missed it. Eddie made Bub clean it up - just punishment.
Last night at church (we do home church) Caleb was in the basement twirling on an office chair. Apparently, he started feeling a little woozy. He came upstairs and interrupted prayer by vomiting into my awaiting hands.
I know...I know... he sounds like a pill. He is. But he so cute, and funny and cuddly. He tells hilarious stories, complete with sound effects and I couldn't love him more. I'm so glad God gave him to us.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Jesus and a Good Therapist
Forget a college fund, what my kids really need a is a good therapy fund. They'll need it when they turn 18 and discover all the ways that my husband and I screwed them up:
-No pony for 5th birthday - scarred for life
-Excessive chores - permanent disability
-Forgot to make them brush after breakfast -dentures at 25
- Allowed them to be seen in public in cowboy boots and a leotard - body image issues
My good friend, Julia the Indomitable, has passed on this profound bit of parenting wisdom which I will now pass on to you, dear reader. It goes a little something like this, "You're gonna screw up your kids. Get over it. It's nothing Jesus and a Good Therapist can't fix."
Do you think you can get some kind of tax deduction for a Therapeutic Savings Account? It's a little like a Roth IRA don't you think? Maybe call it a ROTH TSA, just an idea....
-No pony for 5th birthday - scarred for life
-Excessive chores - permanent disability
-Forgot to make them brush after breakfast -dentures at 25
- Allowed them to be seen in public in cowboy boots and a leotard - body image issues
My good friend, Julia the Indomitable, has passed on this profound bit of parenting wisdom which I will now pass on to you, dear reader. It goes a little something like this, "You're gonna screw up your kids. Get over it. It's nothing Jesus and a Good Therapist can't fix."
Do you think you can get some kind of tax deduction for a Therapeutic Savings Account? It's a little like a Roth IRA don't you think? Maybe call it a ROTH TSA, just an idea....
On your marks, get set...damn.
I was a track star once, okay maybe not a star. I was in seventh grade. I was great, well marginal. But you get the point; I ran. I experienced what it feels like to hear,"runners to your marks, get set, BAM!" The adrenaline, the training, the feeling like everybody's counting on you, there is nothing like it. Except for maybe the fost adopt process (well the first part at least).
We've completed hours of training, we've prepared our home, we're ready...."runners to your marks". We're certified as an official foster care home...." get set". ............ ............. .............. Nothing. No calls. No kid. Nada. Zilch. DAMN. We're suspended in this weird waiting stage. We know that eventually we'll hear the "BAM" and the race will begin, but for now we are on the blocks, positioned, ready, adrenaline pumping. It's exhausting; I want to just start already.
We could get the call in the next 5 minutes, or it could be 6 months. How do you plan you life around that? Not to mention that we don't know if we'll be picking up our daughter from the hospital at 2 days old, or if our daughter will be 18 months and coming from another home.
Faith "smaith" -this stuff is hard. I don't like patience, or long suffering, or trusting or any of that spiritual stuff. "BAM" already.
We've completed hours of training, we've prepared our home, we're ready...."runners to your marks". We're certified as an official foster care home...." get set". ............ ............. .............. Nothing. No calls. No kid. Nada. Zilch. DAMN. We're suspended in this weird waiting stage. We know that eventually we'll hear the "BAM" and the race will begin, but for now we are on the blocks, positioned, ready, adrenaline pumping. It's exhausting; I want to just start already.
We could get the call in the next 5 minutes, or it could be 6 months. How do you plan you life around that? Not to mention that we don't know if we'll be picking up our daughter from the hospital at 2 days old, or if our daughter will be 18 months and coming from another home.
Faith "smaith" -this stuff is hard. I don't like patience, or long suffering, or trusting or any of that spiritual stuff. "BAM" already.
Friday, March 9, 2007
Maybe I do like Homeschool
I'm feeling a bit scattered about homescooling lately. We've set aside our normal Konos curriculum to focus on science fair these last few weeks. And our schedule has been off since November, when I officially gave up on Caleb taking naps. I feel like we "wing it" a lot, and for the most part its working. But ahh...the guilt, shouldn't our schooling be more scheduled, rigorous and spiritually enlightened? Okay, okay this is not pre-med; we're talking a 3 year old, a 4 year old and a 6 year old. Who needs rigourous, let's go to the park...and that is exactly what we've been doing. Come to think of it that is exactly why I like homeschooling. We can go to the park, or the museum, or the library, or watch 3 Popular Mechanics for Kids (yes they have those - on DVD, no less) So lest, I lose hope I'm listing the reasons I like homeschooling:
-I like that my kids pretend play "geologist", and experiment with prisms - for fun.
-I like that if we feel like eating blueberry pancakes for breakfast I can make them and we just start school 20 minutes later.
- I like that my 4 year old can read - and likes too!
-I like that I don't have to herd kids into the mini-van to make it to school in time
-I like learning about things with my kids
-I like that E not only knows how to add and subtract, but knows when to - he's great a word problems
-I like that I can pick curriculum suited to meet the needs of my kids, that I can set the pace for how fast we move through concepts based on my kids mastery
- I like that I don't have to follow anybody elses dumb rules (yes-we comply w/ Colorado Homeschool Law)
-I like the tangents, and rabbit trails that take us way off course, but allow us to stop and work on character issues, or fun topics.
- I like teaching my kids to read - its fun to watch them "get it".
-I like children's literature
- I like that my kid's have "white space" in their lives, and they have time to be children...play with bubbles, legos, play-dough (okay I sort of like play-dough - its so dang messy)
So there really are great reasons to homeschool. My kids are learning, and loving to learn. Homeschooling isn't what I expected its much easier and much harder than I thought it would be, but I'm happy with our choice - today.
-I like that my kids pretend play "geologist", and experiment with prisms - for fun.
-I like that if we feel like eating blueberry pancakes for breakfast I can make them and we just start school 20 minutes later.
- I like that my 4 year old can read - and likes too!
-I like that I don't have to herd kids into the mini-van to make it to school in time
-I like learning about things with my kids
-I like that E not only knows how to add and subtract, but knows when to - he's great a word problems
-I like that I can pick curriculum suited to meet the needs of my kids, that I can set the pace for how fast we move through concepts based on my kids mastery
- I like that I don't have to follow anybody elses dumb rules (yes-we comply w/ Colorado Homeschool Law)
-I like the tangents, and rabbit trails that take us way off course, but allow us to stop and work on character issues, or fun topics.
- I like teaching my kids to read - its fun to watch them "get it".
-I like children's literature
- I like that my kid's have "white space" in their lives, and they have time to be children...play with bubbles, legos, play-dough (okay I sort of like play-dough - its so dang messy)
So there really are great reasons to homeschool. My kids are learning, and loving to learn. Homeschooling isn't what I expected its much easier and much harder than I thought it would be, but I'm happy with our choice - today.
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