My Portion

I am learning how to live in the present, to live fully today.

I've always been a "head in the clouds" kind of girl. I'm a dreamer. This is who God made me to be, and it's a good thing. The problem is that sometimes I can put my hope in what could be instead of enjoying what is.

What "is" is always less glamourous, and romantic than my idealized version of life. In real life there are mosquito bites, and runny noses. In real life I will never ever be caught up with my laundry. In real life I have 15 pounds to lose and gray hair that refuses to stay colored. And real life is good. In real life I have four small children. In real life I must bake gluten free. In real life I wake up early and don't stop working until my head hits the pillow. In real life I go to the bathroom with a 1 year old knocking on the door. My real life is not all that suited to my introversion - I am rarely alone.

But in my real life I am married to a man whom I deeply love and treats me better than I deserve. In real life I make green eggs and ham for breakfast in honor of Dr. Suess. My house is always warm, and I always have food in the pantry to feed my children. I get time to cuddle on the couch and read stories. And I have all that laundry because all 6 of us have all the clothes we need. I have better, and deeper friendships than most people even dream of. And Jesus loves me.

This is my cup; my portion. It is more sweet than bitter. He has given me this man, these children, this home. He has given me these talents, and these struggles. He has given me this amount of money, not more, not less. I will swirl it around and take in the aroma. I'll note the aftertaste and the complexity of flavors. This is my cup; portion. I will accept it and taste it's fullness today.