Sunday, December 7, 2008


Recently, I did a little cyber-stalking. Don't tell me it's never occurred to you. It's so easy; just type in the name of an ex-boyfriend, or long lost friend in some search engine and see what pops up.

Give it a try. But I warn you: you must be prepared for what you discover.

I wasn't.

I discovered a long, lost ex-boyfriend was doing post doctoral research at Yale. I always knew he was smart, so I wasn't totally shocked. What surprised me was the bout of insecurity I felt at the discovery.

I thought to myself..."I wonder if my ex has ever cyber-stalked me?" If he has he won't discover my name in the byline of any academic journals. He won't discover that I matriculated from a fancy pants university or two. He might, perhaps, discover this blog. Then he would find that I am a stay-at-home mom of 4 children.

Impressive, no?

When I shared my discovery and the resulting insecurity to my baby sister she had these words of wisdom to impart: "Don't be stupid. It's not like you got knocked-up when you were 15 and kept popping out babies. You chose this life. It's good. You're a good mom, and you have a good marriage. What you do is important."


Because I need to hear it. I need to hear that what I do matters. That, in the end, it's not about grocery shopping, and diaper changing. It's about serving, and in so doing ministering the love of Christ to my family.

By the world's standards there is little remarkable about what I do. But eternity uses a different economy; it is one where servanthood is valued. And in eternity the only ones to gain their life are the ones who are willing it lose it.

So everyday I have a choice, a choice to pursue my own agenda, or to lay down my life. I can live for the accolades of the world, or I can live in the service of a the Most High King. And, by the way, that can be done while conducting post-doctoral research at an ivy league institution, or in while scrubbing dishes at the kitchen sink

So for me, for today, I will chose to believe that my calling is high, and my reward is great. I will serve the people God has called me to serve, and in the end, that is what matters.

1 comment:

McHam Family said...

For the official blog record (although maybe not as official as post doctorate research at Yale...) I love your baby sister & all her wisdom. She has such a great view of things. What we do is important but I have many, many days like what you just described. I try to remind myself that there are a lot of people who would love to stay home w/ their kids but aren't able to. But then I start worrying about my resume & what it will look like in a few years when I am actually trying to get a "real job"... But these are fleeting years & I try to sit back, breathe, and appreciate. Happy trying to you too - You are so important! Esp. to those 4 beautiful munchkins.