Tuesday, May 27, 2008

It won't go away

This is the 3rd post today... I'm aware. But I haven't posted in awhile and some ideas have been knocking around in my brain. I could use the catharsis.

First, I took Baby to the Doc's today b/c her ear infection is not responding to the antibiotics she's been on. Now, she's on a hefty new one. It took 3 hours to see the doc, get the prescription and get it filled. Ever since her VCUG Baby has been traumatized by doctors. She was hysterical. M and Bub were just plain irritating, and naughty. It sucked.

Did I mention it sucked?

That serves as my preface for the following comments:

I thought that when Baby's adoption was finalized this orphan care/adoption business would go away for me. Annoyingly, it has not. I cannot get these little children out of my head and my heart. And since Baby has come into our home, and I have held her in my arms, I understand what precious treasures are wasting in orphanages, and hospitals, and street corners.

I keep telling Hubby, "I feel like we need to do something." To which he replies, "We are doing something." But Baby isn't an orphan anymore. She's my daughter. And there are so many kids out there languishing. A check just doesn't seem like enough. What can I do? What is God calling us to?

Remember me saying that I can't keep up with my laundry? Remember me saying that going to the doctor with 4 kids really sucked? Having 4 kids is hard. I cannot imagine being a good mom to 5 or 6 (though some people do it exceptionally well). We can't just keep adopting kids. There is a limit to what I can handle.

So what falls between the passivity of writing a check and the sacrifice of adoption a child. What can I do? Because I cannot not do anything -not after I know, not after I've had my eyes opened to the treasure that lays waiting in the fields of the fatherless.

2 comments:

Hannah said...

Curlyjo, I'm praying for you. : ) I'm praying that God will answer your hearts cry to impact the lives of more precious orphans. Your blog was inspiring. Thanks for writing a 3rd time today! haha.
With joy,

Hannah
Children's HopeChest
hananh@hopechest.org
p.s. By the way, I'm Tom Davis's (Fields of the Fatherless, Red Letters) sister-in-law, and I work with him here at Hopechest. I saw that you quoted him on a previous blog -- I think that's how I found your blog initially. : )

Hannah said...

woops.
hannah@hopechest.org
Got carried away there. : )