Saturday, September 22, 2007

Parenting Imperfect Kids

As a kid, I remember my mom working with my baby sister on her spelling words. They would go round and round, and despite my mom's best efforts my sister still did poorly on her spelling tests.

Fast forward 20 years....My sister is a wonderful, dynamic woman with an absolute gift for working with children AND she is quite possibly the most atrocious speller I've ever encountered. (Sorry Gretch, but we all know its true).

Here is my point: I've noticed some areas of weakness in my kids. Maybe its a paticular attitude, or a tendency towards a particular sin, or an area where they struggle academically. Experience tells me that my kids are probably not going to outgrow their weaknesses. My sister is still a crummy speller, and even though I managed to pass college algebra, I still don't know my times tables. I still struggle with laziness and insecurity. And though I've learned some good coping skills, I am still a little ditzy and distractable. BUT ultimately we turned out okay; better than okay. We are bright, capable women. My sister isn't in some Bad Speller Rehab, and I just use a calculator.

Maybe I need to lighten up. Maybe I need to give my kid coping skills to work around their weaknesses, instead of spending so much effort trying to "fix" them. Then I'd have more time to help them develop the areas that God has gifted them in and, frankly, just enjoy their company.

For example, my daughter throws tremendous, ridiculous, unmanagable hissy fits when she gets tired. My time is probably better spent teaching her to recognize when she's tired and cranky than disciplining her for lack of self-control, and disrespect mid temper tantrum.

BOTTOM LINE:
Bad handwriting ......teach 'em to type.
Not a morning person.....get a good alarm clock, and give them homework at night.
Poor speller...hey, we live in the age of SpellCheck. Aproximation is good enough.
Lazy... it's all in how you frame it; I pefer to call it "laid back", and teach efficiency.

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