When it crumbles

Damn it all to hell!

That is what it feels like I have done. We've done.

I'm not sure how to do the Readers Digest version of this story. There is no way, that I can see, to make it simple and straightforward. Or even make it palatable. It's bitter.

Eddie and I have been working for months to finish our basement into an apartment for a single mom. It's a gigantic task since we've pretty much done all of the work ourselves, and have scrambled to get used or bargain construction materials. There have been lots of late nights, and blisters, and budget stretchers.

We'd been matched with single mom of two toddlers in need of housing. We'd done interviews, and worked out contracts, and met with this mom several times. We were excited. She was excited.

And then...

The peices started crumbling. The long and short of it is that we had to repeal our offer of housing to her. She had been less than straightforward. There were domestic violence issues, and a restraining order. Social services was involved. It was messy; unsafe.

So this is where we left her: She is homeless and abused. She has 2 small children, no job, and no prospects.

Eddie asked, "What did we expect? She's a homeless, jobless, teen mother. Why would we assume that she doesn't have issues?" He's right, of course.

Everything in me want's to help her, to make it better for her, and for her girls. But the help she needs is beyond me to provide, and I am not at all certain we could keep our kids safe. It sucks, and there very well could be an unhappy ending to this story.

Darn but I wish this was a tidy little tale of how one family stood beside a mom in need. It is not. Eddie says, "This is when people throw in the towel; they say "screw it". It's not worth it and what good does it do anyway." Eddie say many wise things. But here's the thing: we're not quitting. We're not.

Lord, Help us. We want to live lives of reckless abandon, of crazy faith. This ending doesn't make sense. Doesn't. I can't reconcile it to your nature, I don't see your plan. Help me to cling tightly to you.

And God, be the defender of the fatherless, a strong tower for the afflicted, and marginalized. Help this mom, and other's like her. Help her. Because I cannot.