Adventures in Bubland

Self Portrait. Guess who got hold of the digital camera? We have about 6 more in this genre, not to metion the 20 or so others documenting his sisters shoes, toys on the floor, and whatever else Bub thought was picture worthy.

Messing with Fonts

I have work to do:
Pink eye antibiotics to administer
beds to strip
Lysol to spray
breakfast dishes to wash
maybe I should lose the bathrobe
I probably should brush my teeth
okay, okay I'll brush my teeth
Yet here I sit - procrastinating
MESSING WITH THE FONTS ON MY BLOG
I wonder what kind of mental health coverage Blue Cross has.....

That's Just Dumb...

I read a survey in Woman's Day that reported that something like 82% of women said that their highest goal for their child is to get a college education and subsequently have a successful career.

Do I want my kids to go to college? Yeah. Do I want them to have careers they enjoy? Sure. Is that my highest goal? NO WAY! The bar is set far too low. I want my kids to know and walk with God; I want them to live with integrity and passion. I want them to be blessed with friendships, and great marriages; I want them to experience the delight, and hard work of parenthood. I want them to be faithful stewards: to give generously, live faithfully, and invest in themselves and others. Its more important to me that my kids love to learn, than hold a degree. (though I gotta say college is fun, and I hope my kids choose to attend). My dreams are much bigger than a diploma and a steady paycheck.

So to the 82% I say, "Come on folks...That's the best you can do? That's all you want your your kids?" Seriously, that's just dumb.

Six-Flags has Nothing on Adoption

Our social worker left a voice mail yesterday that another family had been chosen for the 2 babies. She was gracious, and thanked us for thinking though the possibility of doing the sibling "thing". As I listened to her talk I felt a little relieved; two babies and three young children is a lot to parent - especially if you throw in homeschooling. I also felt sad; these are two I'll never get to meet, let alone love. Mostly, I felt exhausted. Adoption has put me on an emotional roller-coaster - the "what-ifs" and the waiting are taxing in a way I can't describe. Anyway, it is my firm belief that the spinning, whirling, world of adoption blows Six Flags out of the water if you compare the number of tips and turns each has to offer.

A Week Later

A week ago we put our name on the "short list" of perspective parents for the 2 babies. Yesterday "they" were supposed to have met, and decided on a family. I'm hoping to hear from our social worker today or tomorrow. It is impossible to plan for the future when I don't know what is ahead. Silly decision about what sessions of swimming lessons to sign the kids up for, or what plants to buy for the flower bed in front are impacted by whether or not we will get these babies. I'm a planner - I like to have a plan; I don't necessarily like to follow the plan, but there is a certain security in knowing that there is a plan to fall back on. This defies planning. I read a verse the other day that was comforting.

"By faith, Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going."

If Abraham knew where he was going, if he knew that it would be the land of his inheritance, and better than he could imagine, it wouldn't have been faith. "Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see". I said I wanted to walk by faith, but somehow I thought I could manage it without the faith part. Faith isn't doing the safe or rational thing. Faith, by definition, requires risk. I'm no Abraham, but I think I understand a little how he must have felt as he left his homeland behind. I have no idea where we are "going" and I'm trying to obey, anyway.

And we will walk by faith, not by sight...

"Adoption does not always make commonsense, but it does make spiritual sense. "

God is the father to the fatherless;he cares for those who have been overlooked by the world. When we feel the "call" to adopt we can be sure that that "call" is from Him. Self would dictate an easier path, the world would say "kids are a hassle", and Satan certainly has no intention of caring for widows and orphans. Adoption is straight from God's heart, and when we are called to it we can know that we are about God's work.

I'm not saying this to gloss over the very real challenges we will face. There is nothing really glamorous about changing your fifth poopy diaper of the day on 3 hours of sleep. There is nothing very spiritual about deciding if you can afford swimming lessons for everybody because you grocery budget just got a lot tighter. But I do believe, I have to believe, that God is in this. And I am throwing myself at the grace of a good God, trusting him to provide - not only today, but tomorrow and in decades from now when our 401k is not as hefty as it would have been if we had chosen another path.

All this to say, that if we are chosen ( by the GAL, and social workers) we will choose to add 2 babies to our family. And the Faith Adventure Begins....

An Adoption Update

Last Thursday I talked with our social worker; she put us on the short list of prospective parents for the sibling group - remember, the 2 babies. Are we really any closer to making a decision? No. But this move gives us more time to decide, and possibly more information about these little ones. This doesn't necessarily mean that we'll be chosen. Nor does it obligate us.

We'll just have to wait and see.

This morning I was feeling confident in my ability to parent a whole bunch of kids, but this evening I am tired. I remember what it feels like to be chronically tired. I remember the brain atrophy. Though there is no medical evidence to substanciate it, I am certain that the brain size of a woman who is parenting a baby actually shrinks; its only when the baby reaches age 2 that the brain cells regenerate. Thinking about doing the 2 baby thing makes me want to call it a night, and its only a quarter to 8.