waiting...

Waiting sucks.

Every time there is an unknown around the corner I get fidgety.

Adoption is full of waiting. I was so much more comfortable with the process of adoption when we were in a season of doing. Homestudy. Classes. Fingerprints. These I could do, but I hated the seasons where my only task was to wait. And there are months of waiting.

More recently I applied to have the kids enrolled in a charter school. There was a fair amount of paperwork - which was fine by me because I got to DO something. The cruddy part for me was when there was nothing left to do but wait.

Now I've done everything I can do to get this job I might maybe want. But now I have to wait. There is nothing more to be done. And hence...I discover yet again that I am not a peaceful waiter. I'd rather do than wait for the script of life to unravel like a scroll.

Funny thing. I actually feel pretty much okay with going back to work or not. I could live with either. There is an upside and a downside to both. What I HATE is the wait. I'd like to know, or at least hold on to the illusion of control by doing some task, no matter how banal.

A theme emerges, does it not? Maybe I should think about why I hate to wait, you know, while I'm waiting...