Visitation

Foster to Adopt is a rollercoaster.

DNA confirmed the identity of Baby's birth father. And six months into the process we had our first visitation. I was a nervous wreck. I sat is a little room with a squeaky leather couch, pretending to read a Parents Magazine, all the while listening for sounds of Baby crying. Baby was crabby, but not hysterical. All and all it went okay. I got a picture of Baby with her birth dad, which I think will be special to her as she gets older. She's been a mess since we've been home and wants to be held constantly. The social worker said that this is pretty typical. We should expect it.

Birth dad still doesn't know what he wants. He doesn't think he'll be able comply with the treatment plan. He is possibly open to relinquishment counselling. He wants to do visitation. He doesn't think the courts are fair, and feels like a huge injustice has been done.

Up till now Baby's birth parents have been a bit of an abstraction. But now I've got a face. A person; not just a scrap of DNA. What a mixed bag of emotions go with this guy. First, I feel sorry for him. No matter what, it sucks to lose custody of a child. Next, I feel threatened. He still has the potential to take baby away from us, even if it is very unlikely. Lastly, I feel irritated. What kind of parent doesn't show up until his baby is 6 months old. Hello? It's your kid. Do something. Show up. Parent's do that.

Anyway that's where we are at.

One light-hearted anecdote as penance for my depressing blog entries: I got a referral to take Bub to the an orthopedic specialist at Children's for his Perthes Syndrome. Bub overheard me telling my mom on the phone that I had to schedule a visist with the Orthopedist. Unfamiliar with the term, Bub misheard me. "ORTHO - PENIS !", he yelped. "It's working, it's working".