Secret Identity

Hubby sent me an article from Christianity Today about the secret identity of women. Interesting. I'll summarize. Basically, this guy noticed that often when a woman's husband dies she grieves, but then after a time this whole new person emerges. She starts to travel, or begins a new career, or gets a new wardrobe. The guy posed the question, "Is the new person really new or was part of her identity squelched by her husband's domination?"

I have never felt that my husband dominates me, or smothers parts of who I am. If anything he encourages me to do the things I love and will sacrifice to make it happen. Does this mean I don't have a secret identity lurking under the "mommy" disguise? Nope. I think I have several. There is the World Traveler Me, and the Grad School Me, and the Publish a Book Me, and the Artist Me, and the Hip Dresser Me. When I think about all those other possible "Mes" waiting to emerge it makes me a little sad, those parts of me are on hold. For today there are little people who need their oatmeal made, and their shoelaces tied.

I love my kids. I do. No question. But the cost of nurturing is high. I think all moms, maybe particularly stay-at-home moms, struggle with this. How do I be a real person, with real interests and talents when so much of my life is spent caring for the needs of others, making sure they reach their potential? Maybe some people are just natural caretakers, and they feel fullfilled in their role as mother. For me, it is a struggle.

Speaking of little people, they're awake. I need to run. But if you're a mom, and you've struggled with this leave a comment. I'd love to hear how you've dealt with it.