I've been terrible aboutt blogging lately, but I wanted to give you a status report.
-Our new housemate/tenant is working out wonderfully. I really like her; she's a hard worker and a good mom. Plus we got a date, an actual real life no kids invited date. Eddie and I make a good team and rarely butt heads, but sometimes its just really fun to have fun with my husband. I really like the guy. A lot.
-Turned in my w4 today for work. I'm officially done with my stay at home mom gig...and I cannot say I'm sorry. I know that sounds terrible, but I really am not all that good at being a stay-at-home mom, and I have done my time thank you very much. Don't get me wrong - my family, and my husband are my priority but ahh...how I long to be a grown-up, and never ever do popsicle stick crafts again.
-We're going camping tomorrow - yipee!!!!!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Show and Tell
Many of you know we've been finishing our basement as an apartment to make available for a teen mom. The idea was that we could help give her and her children a safe and comfortable place to live AND HOPEFULLY, she would be able to help us with some childcare needs.
Well...we're finished. SIGH!
The apartment turned out wonderfully and our new tenant is thrilled. Some friends, and you know who you are, helped enourmously. I feel like I should do the Academy Awards thing and thank everyone who made it possible. I am so grateful; she is so grateful. Seriously, I cannot tell you how fun it was to hand over keys to an apartment that was furnished. The pantry was brimming, and there were little extra touches everywhere: gift baskets, diapers, cleaning supplies, Bath and Body lotions, the whole 9 yards.
It was way better than Christmas.
Don't begrudge me my show-and-tell; I am proud, proud that a whole community that pulled together to bless a mom who could use a break.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Did you know this about HIV?
What do you know about HIV? Or maybe I should ask "what do you think you know"? If you're like me you probably have some pretty good MIS-INFORMATION. Recently, I've had a chance to get educated about HIV from moms who know. They're raising kids with HIV. This information came From HIV to Home - it's stuff you should know. You just should.
But isn't HIV contagious? HIV is a very fragile virus, and there are very specific ways that it is transmitted. HIV is only transmitted when the virus enters the bloodstream. This only occurs through sexual contact; through the use of contaminated needles or other sharp instruments, or receiving a transfusion of HIV-infected blood products; and from a mother who is HIV-infected to her child during pregnancy, childbirth, labour and delivery, and breastfeeding. HIV transmission does not occur with normal household contact. It is not transmitted through tears, saliva, mucous or other bodily fluids. It is considered a "communicable" disease - meaning you can't simply "catch" it. In addition, when an infected person is on treatment, the levels of HIV in the blood are brought so low that they are considered undetectable - meaning the possibility of transmission - even through contact with blood, semen, or vaginal fluid - is that much more remote.Aren't these children going to die after their families bring them home? Many people don't realize that the prognosis for children on treatment for their HIV is excellent. They are expected to live long, normal lives. In fact, in the west, HIV is now considered a chronic illness rather than the terminal disease it used to be. Sadly, this isn't the case for those HIV infected children living in resource-poor settings, where 50% of infected and untreated children are not expected to live past the age of two.Is it true that you can have HIV and not develop AIDS? Absolutely! There are over 30 medications approved by the FDA for the treatment of HIV, and more are in development. These medications bring the levels of the virus so low in the body that the virus can be considered undetectable in the bloodstream. Patients receiving treatment for HIV can expect to live long, healthy lives without developing AIDS.What about all of the children who don't get adopted? We recognize that adoption is only a band-aid answer. It is one small piece in a big puzzle - we are working to provide holistic HIV+ orphan care through our Hope Houses launch in Ethiopia.
What if I catch HIV from my child? Many people don’t know that HIV is a very fragile virus. As soon as it leaves the body, it begins to die. There are no documented cases of HIV transmission through casual household or school contact. HIV+ children can (and do!) share cups, baths, pools, dishes, bathrooms, etc.! In addition, when children are on treatment for their HIV, the amount of the virus in their bloodstream can be brought so low that it is considered “undetectable” – meaning the amount of the virus in the blood, even through contact with blood, has been brought so low that the possibility of transmission has become even more remote.What if my other children touch her blood? Most households with HIV+ children find that this was one of their initial worries and, in fact, becomes not much of a worry at all once their kids are home together. There are very few activities where the blood of one child would enter the bloodstream of another child. Families simply train their children never to touch another person’s blood or “owies” and practice universal precautions in their homes (using gloves when dealing with blood, covering all sores with a band-aid, etc.).
What if no insurance company will cover my child? Here’s the great news! It is a legal requirement that all adopted children be added to group insurance plans without pre-existing condition clauses in all 50 states! And many states also require that private insurance plans do the same! In addition, all 50 states have funding programs that will assist with the costs of HIV treatment within specified income guidelines.
But isn't HIV contagious? HIV is a very fragile virus, and there are very specific ways that it is transmitted. HIV is only transmitted when the virus enters the bloodstream. This only occurs through sexual contact; through the use of contaminated needles or other sharp instruments, or receiving a transfusion of HIV-infected blood products; and from a mother who is HIV-infected to her child during pregnancy, childbirth, labour and delivery, and breastfeeding. HIV transmission does not occur with normal household contact. It is not transmitted through tears, saliva, mucous or other bodily fluids. It is considered a "communicable" disease - meaning you can't simply "catch" it. In addition, when an infected person is on treatment, the levels of HIV in the blood are brought so low that they are considered undetectable - meaning the possibility of transmission - even through contact with blood, semen, or vaginal fluid - is that much more remote.Aren't these children going to die after their families bring them home? Many people don't realize that the prognosis for children on treatment for their HIV is excellent. They are expected to live long, normal lives. In fact, in the west, HIV is now considered a chronic illness rather than the terminal disease it used to be. Sadly, this isn't the case for those HIV infected children living in resource-poor settings, where 50% of infected and untreated children are not expected to live past the age of two.Is it true that you can have HIV and not develop AIDS? Absolutely! There are over 30 medications approved by the FDA for the treatment of HIV, and more are in development. These medications bring the levels of the virus so low in the body that the virus can be considered undetectable in the bloodstream. Patients receiving treatment for HIV can expect to live long, healthy lives without developing AIDS.What about all of the children who don't get adopted? We recognize that adoption is only a band-aid answer. It is one small piece in a big puzzle - we are working to provide holistic HIV+ orphan care through our Hope Houses launch in Ethiopia.
What if I catch HIV from my child? Many people don’t know that HIV is a very fragile virus. As soon as it leaves the body, it begins to die. There are no documented cases of HIV transmission through casual household or school contact. HIV+ children can (and do!) share cups, baths, pools, dishes, bathrooms, etc.! In addition, when children are on treatment for their HIV, the amount of the virus in their bloodstream can be brought so low that it is considered “undetectable” – meaning the amount of the virus in the blood, even through contact with blood, has been brought so low that the possibility of transmission has become even more remote.What if my other children touch her blood? Most households with HIV+ children find that this was one of their initial worries and, in fact, becomes not much of a worry at all once their kids are home together. There are very few activities where the blood of one child would enter the bloodstream of another child. Families simply train their children never to touch another person’s blood or “owies” and practice universal precautions in their homes (using gloves when dealing with blood, covering all sores with a band-aid, etc.).
What if no insurance company will cover my child? Here’s the great news! It is a legal requirement that all adopted children be added to group insurance plans without pre-existing condition clauses in all 50 states! And many states also require that private insurance plans do the same! In addition, all 50 states have funding programs that will assist with the costs of HIV treatment within specified income guidelines.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
My God Will Meet All Your Needs
Phil 4:19 My God will meet all your needs. He will meet them in keeping with his wonderful riches that come to you because you belong to Christ Jesus.
There have been tornado warnings about every afternoon for the last week here. The skies turn purple, it hails and rains. Somewhere a tornado is formed.
A couple of days ago there was a doozy of a storm that hit our house. A wall cloud formed and the skies turned erie. Eddie was watching the storm develop and noticed a distinctive swirl happening right above our house. RIGHT ABOVE OUR HOUSE. We should have been in the basement - but we stood there under the eve of our house and watched in fascination. A tornado was forming...it swirled and tightened and wound around.
And then it disapated. But the hail was crazy, and it did a number on my garden.
This storm seems to be a pretty good metaphor for my life right now.
Swirling.
Twirling.
Turbulance.
It's dumb things even, like I accidentally stuck the wrong key in the lock on the front door. The key broke off and ruined the knob and lock. The oven shorted out and the refrigerator is leaking. Our renters are being irritating -small things like trashing the place and not paying rent. I wake up struggling with the weight of depression - even on anti-depressants. The baby doesn't sleep, and Eddie is up to midnight most nights working. The kids are bickering, and some adoption issues are bubbling to the surface. It feels like a war zone.
This post sounds so whiny. And that's not the point.
At all.
It's just is, and I'm feeling the weight of it.
But the good news is: My God knows; he get's it. He's in the middle of the swirling and twirling and he's the one holding us steadfast. He knows my needs, and the needs of my family. He knows the needs of the teen moms we are meeting and beginning to care about.
Because we BELONG to him. We BELONG. We BELONG. We are his and he has good things for us. Somehow, that makes all the difference.
There have been tornado warnings about every afternoon for the last week here. The skies turn purple, it hails and rains. Somewhere a tornado is formed.
A couple of days ago there was a doozy of a storm that hit our house. A wall cloud formed and the skies turned erie. Eddie was watching the storm develop and noticed a distinctive swirl happening right above our house. RIGHT ABOVE OUR HOUSE. We should have been in the basement - but we stood there under the eve of our house and watched in fascination. A tornado was forming...it swirled and tightened and wound around.
And then it disapated. But the hail was crazy, and it did a number on my garden.
This storm seems to be a pretty good metaphor for my life right now.
Swirling.
Twirling.
Turbulance.
It's dumb things even, like I accidentally stuck the wrong key in the lock on the front door. The key broke off and ruined the knob and lock. The oven shorted out and the refrigerator is leaking. Our renters are being irritating -small things like trashing the place and not paying rent. I wake up struggling with the weight of depression - even on anti-depressants. The baby doesn't sleep, and Eddie is up to midnight most nights working. The kids are bickering, and some adoption issues are bubbling to the surface. It feels like a war zone.
This post sounds so whiny. And that's not the point.
At all.
It's just is, and I'm feeling the weight of it.
But the good news is: My God knows; he get's it. He's in the middle of the swirling and twirling and he's the one holding us steadfast. He knows my needs, and the needs of my family. He knows the needs of the teen moms we are meeting and beginning to care about.
Because we BELONG to him. We BELONG. We BELONG. We are his and he has good things for us. Somehow, that makes all the difference.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Bad bad blogger
So my commitment to blog well and often has...um...well....let's just say it's right up there with my commitment to stop eating chocolate. In leu of excellence or frequency I offer you this:
Bullet Points.
-The commercial construction market is slow, so marketing is becoming a priority for my husband, who would rather have his work speak for itself. I keep encouraging Eddie to prostitute himself, and have been affectionately referring to him as my little construction whore. I think he secretly likes it.
-The neighbor's bunnies had bunnies...as bunnies tend to do. My kids have been pestering us to NO END to let them keep the bunnies. They are darling, and I am tempted. I just have to keep reminding myself that 2 years olds tend to love and squeeze bunnies a little too much. Remember "Of Mice and Men", remember how you cried?
-We have another referral for a teen mom to come live in our basement. I'm getting smarter and smarter each time I think through the interview process. Soon I'll be a friggin' genius, jaded, but still a genius.
-We finally got the "sex book" to read to our son - you know the nice christian one with soft watercolor images to explain God's design for intimacy. I asked E if he wanted to read it. He said "No. Mom, sex is disgusting." So I bribed him. He read it. He still thinks sex is gross. I'm hoping that that opinion will last a long long long long long time.
-Our friends are letting us borrow their pop-up camper. So in a couple of weeks we're headed up to Grand Lake. I'm crazy excited. I didn't camp at all last year which is just plain pathetic when you live in one of the most beautiful states in the union.
-My gardens are beautiful this summer. BEAUTIUL. When I am an old lady, and I don't have children underfoot I am going to dig up my whole lawn and plant flowers. They're medicinal even without ingesting them. No matter what's going on in my life I can look at them and my heart feels better. Plus I've vowed never to mow a lawn, so this way I can save Eddie the trouble.
Bullet Points.
-The commercial construction market is slow, so marketing is becoming a priority for my husband, who would rather have his work speak for itself. I keep encouraging Eddie to prostitute himself, and have been affectionately referring to him as my little construction whore. I think he secretly likes it.
-The neighbor's bunnies had bunnies...as bunnies tend to do. My kids have been pestering us to NO END to let them keep the bunnies. They are darling, and I am tempted. I just have to keep reminding myself that 2 years olds tend to love and squeeze bunnies a little too much. Remember "Of Mice and Men", remember how you cried?
-We have another referral for a teen mom to come live in our basement. I'm getting smarter and smarter each time I think through the interview process. Soon I'll be a friggin' genius, jaded, but still a genius.
-We finally got the "sex book" to read to our son - you know the nice christian one with soft watercolor images to explain God's design for intimacy. I asked E if he wanted to read it. He said "No. Mom, sex is disgusting." So I bribed him. He read it. He still thinks sex is gross. I'm hoping that that opinion will last a long long long long long time.
-Our friends are letting us borrow their pop-up camper. So in a couple of weeks we're headed up to Grand Lake. I'm crazy excited. I didn't camp at all last year which is just plain pathetic when you live in one of the most beautiful states in the union.
-My gardens are beautiful this summer. BEAUTIUL. When I am an old lady, and I don't have children underfoot I am going to dig up my whole lawn and plant flowers. They're medicinal even without ingesting them. No matter what's going on in my life I can look at them and my heart feels better. Plus I've vowed never to mow a lawn, so this way I can save Eddie the trouble.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
When it crumbles
Damn it all to hell!
That is what it feels like I have done. We've done.
I'm not sure how to do the Readers Digest version of this story. There is no way, that I can see, to make it simple and straightforward. Or even make it palatable. It's bitter.
Eddie and I have been working for months to finish our basement into an apartment for a single mom. It's a gigantic task since we've pretty much done all of the work ourselves, and have scrambled to get used or bargain construction materials. There have been lots of late nights, and blisters, and budget stretchers.
We'd been matched with single mom of two toddlers in need of housing. We'd done interviews, and worked out contracts, and met with this mom several times. We were excited. She was excited.
And then...
The peices started crumbling. The long and short of it is that we had to repeal our offer of housing to her. She had been less than straightforward. There were domestic violence issues, and a restraining order. Social services was involved. It was messy; unsafe.
So this is where we left her: She is homeless and abused. She has 2 small children, no job, and no prospects.
Eddie asked, "What did we expect? She's a homeless, jobless, teen mother. Why would we assume that she doesn't have issues?" He's right, of course.
Everything in me want's to help her, to make it better for her, and for her girls. But the help she needs is beyond me to provide, and I am not at all certain we could keep our kids safe. It sucks, and there very well could be an unhappy ending to this story.
Darn but I wish this was a tidy little tale of how one family stood beside a mom in need. It is not. Eddie says, "This is when people throw in the towel; they say "screw it". It's not worth it and what good does it do anyway." Eddie say many wise things. But here's the thing: we're not quitting. We're not.
Lord, Help us. We want to live lives of reckless abandon, of crazy faith. This ending doesn't make sense. Doesn't. I can't reconcile it to your nature, I don't see your plan. Help me to cling tightly to you.
And God, be the defender of the fatherless, a strong tower for the afflicted, and marginalized. Help this mom, and other's like her. Help her. Because I cannot.
That is what it feels like I have done. We've done.
I'm not sure how to do the Readers Digest version of this story. There is no way, that I can see, to make it simple and straightforward. Or even make it palatable. It's bitter.
Eddie and I have been working for months to finish our basement into an apartment for a single mom. It's a gigantic task since we've pretty much done all of the work ourselves, and have scrambled to get used or bargain construction materials. There have been lots of late nights, and blisters, and budget stretchers.
We'd been matched with single mom of two toddlers in need of housing. We'd done interviews, and worked out contracts, and met with this mom several times. We were excited. She was excited.
And then...
The peices started crumbling. The long and short of it is that we had to repeal our offer of housing to her. She had been less than straightforward. There were domestic violence issues, and a restraining order. Social services was involved. It was messy; unsafe.
So this is where we left her: She is homeless and abused. She has 2 small children, no job, and no prospects.
Eddie asked, "What did we expect? She's a homeless, jobless, teen mother. Why would we assume that she doesn't have issues?" He's right, of course.
Everything in me want's to help her, to make it better for her, and for her girls. But the help she needs is beyond me to provide, and I am not at all certain we could keep our kids safe. It sucks, and there very well could be an unhappy ending to this story.
Darn but I wish this was a tidy little tale of how one family stood beside a mom in need. It is not. Eddie says, "This is when people throw in the towel; they say "screw it". It's not worth it and what good does it do anyway." Eddie say many wise things. But here's the thing: we're not quitting. We're not.
Lord, Help us. We want to live lives of reckless abandon, of crazy faith. This ending doesn't make sense. Doesn't. I can't reconcile it to your nature, I don't see your plan. Help me to cling tightly to you.
And God, be the defender of the fatherless, a strong tower for the afflicted, and marginalized. Help this mom, and other's like her. Help her. Because I cannot.
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