Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Skoinked

So you may have noticed that my posts have lacked substance as of late.

There is a reason.

It's called denial.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I just cannot live with all the crud, or with all the unpleasantness, and so I hide. I bury myself in a mindless novel, or chocolate, or well, anything. Because I don't know what to DO with what I know about homelessness, or HIV, or the fatherless.

Heck, I don't know what to do with having to wait to find out about
my job situation, or getting a good renter in our rental house. I don't know what to do when my daughter wheezes and cries from 12-2AM. I don't know what to do when I hear my friend has lost her job.

And that's just little stuff. Biggish little stuff. But still...

It's all skoinked! And yes, that is the technical term.

Not as it should be.

A shadow of what was.

The promise of what could be...

And sometimes it's hard to live there, to be present in the midst of the mess.

Back in the Baptist days of my childhood we used to sing,

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace."

It makes me suspicious that my head in the sand approach to dealing with life's hardships might not be appropriate.

Pity, I do enjoy dark chocolate.

2 comments:

Kari said...

I know what you mean. After everything I went through with my mom's battle with cancer and my sister's MS diagnosis, I sort of "maxxed" out on stuff I could handle. Things that should have affected me (other people's sadness or even my own) bounced off me. I just didn't want to deal with "another thing". It's hard to acknowledge the tough stuff around us...and I also believe dark chocolate is life's best medicine. :-)

Angela said...

just finished off some hershey's special dark...

and seriously...we need to do coffee sometime soon! who knew we had so.many. of the same interests?!

soon...