Double Minded...

I'm an options girl. I collect options like some people collect key chains or trinkets. I like making life a multiple choice test, but in the end I never like to choose one thing over an other. Options, wiggle room, and space to imagine are much more comfortable for me.

So we were pursuing an option for schooling Caleb via a home study charter school. Basically it homeschool with some funding and accountability provided by the lovely state of California. Caleb got in. I should be leaping and shouting for joy, but I am not. Because its decision time, and I like options. Choosing this route, necessitates that we do not continue to have him in public school. Obviously. And well, mostly, I don't like public school. But I do like some things about it. And Caleb wouldn't have those things anymore.

I am such a freaking opinionated perfectionist about schooling - I annoy myself with it sometimes. So here is, for all to see, my pro/con list.

PUBLIC SCHOOL
PROS
It wouldn't require change
All the kids would be doing the same thing
Caleb would be getting some reading supports he needs
Caleb would continue stay connected with friends he is making at school.
I get time to myself.
Eventually we could get some testing done - probably...

CONS
Caleb hates school - most days anyway
I have philosophical objections to some of publics schools practice - so its cognitive dissonance for me baby!
The after school homework craziness would still be craziness because Emma and Caleb both require lots of my help at a time of the day when they are already spent.
Caleb gets so anxious he doesn't sleep well when he knows he's going to school
Caleb doesn't eat at school
We wouldn't have time or money to get him into things like Karate, drama, or guitar - area's were he could really excel and shine
I don't have as much one on one time with my kids.

HOMESCHOOL CHARTER
PROS
We would have the money and time to get Caleb in Karate. drama or guitar
I could tailor the curriculum to meet Caleb's needs
We could get connected with some co-op homeschool families
I would have one on one time with Emma after school b/c would already be done for the day
Caleb would leave the anxiety of school, and hopefully he would eat and sleep better
We could still be meeting state standards and do testing via the charter

CONS
My alone time goes out the window.
Change
Leaving friends, missing field trips and class parties etc.
Possibly send the message to Caleb that he can quit hard things
The kids won't all be doing the same thing
Makes it more difficult for Caleb to get back into the elementary school again if we change our minds