Beautiful Things Out of the Dust

I haven't blogged for months. I've been busy. And I've been in denial. But reality has a way of rearing its ugly head, so here I am, telling the truth.

We're Moving.
Out of state.
Like Northern California out of state...
In 10 days.

Thus the busyness and the denial.

The Reader's Digest Version of the story is this: Eddie had been traveling to good ol' CA for months, and the bulk of his work had shifted west. We missed him, and decided we should all live in the same state all of the time. We're making it happen quickly, because, right or wrong, we've embraced the "rip the bandaid off" approach to trauma management.

I should have emotions about this. I am sure that I do, and they are likely strong and overwhelming emotions. But I am not feeling these emotions as they are nicely stowed away in my knapsack called Denial. Every once in a while they creep out and I am paralyzed by their force. So back in they go; I'll carry them across state lines and unpack the loneliness, grief, and sadness there. After the boxes.

I tote the knapsack - it will HAVE to be unpacked. But I carry with me these two true things as well. 1. Just because I know the blessings I am leaving here, doesn't mean that God doesn't have some (yet unseen) blessings in store for us in Northern California. 2. God always creates beautiful things out of dust. It's kind of his M.O. So what feels like loss, can and will be something lovely - someday.

And their are the views of the San Francisco Bay, and the lovely walking paths around Lake Chabot. And Muir Woods, and Napa Valley, and my darling Mediterranean style house with all the french doors and a lemon tree. There is the actual real diversity of people and people groups, and there is sleeping next to my husband every night of the week. Plus, there is the story being lived out in front of my children that just because it's hard, and scary doesn't mean you don't do it. Good adventures are always hard and scary, the safe ones are never the stories worth telling.