Abby is so transparent. She takes what she wants. It seems like 100 times a day we ask, "Does that belong to you?" We expect an answer to the silly rhetorical question. And she delivers it with flair and volume, "But I want it!"

 But I want it: that which belongs to another. You'd think I'd have outgrown such childishness. In fact, I thought I had out grown it.

 Well mostly.

 Alas, I am a big baby. And I want that which doesn't belong to me. I look at others enrolling their kids in public school and think, "I wish it were that easy for us." I watch other moms drive off to work and think,"I wish I could hang out with grown ups." I see the tiny little sedans that fits one measly carseat and think, "Life is sure easier for those who have fewer kids."

I picked having a large family. I picked intentionally being home with my kids. I picked homeschool. Becuase I thought these were the best choices for our family.

I still think they are.  I like our life, until I begin to compare. Then I struggle some with discontent - which is basically wanting the someone else's life - which is childish. Which is humbling.

 So I am working on sinking deep into my life. the one God gave to me. I'm working on living fully the one life God has given to me and  I'm learning to be present in this season.

And when I do it well, I find I very much enjoy where I am, who I am, and this little tribe on the East Bay.